The Girl With Dreams

Dreams

Hi my name is Emily, I appear to be normal and I try to act normal. However, my tactics never seem to work. Let's get to know each other, I'll go first. I have blonde long hair with beaming blue eyes, my favourite things is going out and having fun with my friends but my biggest fear is going to sleep. Let me explain.

Every night, it gets dark outside. I hear nothing, it's dead silent, I can hear my heart beating out of my chest as my breathing gets heavier and heavier. Darkness swallows me as my sight starts to fade away. I then start to get a vision, which I do not want to talk about, it scares me sometimes but I'm used to it by now. I then awake myself by my rapid breathing. I call them 'bad dreams' or 'nightmares' they just come so often.

I feel bad for my mother sometimes because I seem to wake her every time it happens. She tries to talk me into therapy or to go and see a doctor, but I'm scared to.

Anyway today is my first day of second year in high school, I'm super excited but nervous at the same time. My mother decided to take me to school, as it was my first day. The car drive seemed long and never ending. My mother seemed to look at me worried. I got the nerve to ask her,
"Why do you look at me like that, are you okay?" She stared at me in the rear view mirror and as she began to spoke,
"I'm worried, Emily, we can't continue like this please let me speak to someone." She than began to hold her breath to try and hold back the tears coming out of her watering eyes.
"What do you mean, mother?" I asked curiously. I had many things in my mind of what it could be like asking her for help with my homework. Maybe she wanted to get me a tutor?
"I'll speak to you later, you have to get to school you don't want to be late on your first day!" She spoke as she leaned over and kissed me on my cheek.

Worriedly, i walked into the school building as I began to brainstorm in my head, what is she talking about? Who does she want to speak to? I shook my head as I saw out of the corner of my eye my best friend, Matthew. He waved me over where I saw him with our group of friends. I admired Matthew a lot, he was smart, cute and kind. I had to admit, I may have a crush on him, but I'm saying nothing.

I ran over to my group of friends as they all welcomed me, I felt like I was actually in the right place for the first time in my life. My other friends: Maddie, Michelle and Zoe were also there and I was also very happy to see them.
"Are you excited, Emily?" Michelle asked with a smile on her face, she was thrilled to be back.
"I guess I am. I'm a bit nervous though." I Shyly mumbled as I started to grab my arm.
"Don't worry, Em, your be with us! We might even have classes together!" This time it was Maddie comforting me as we all stood together smiling.

My friends called me 'Em' for short I don't know if I liked it or not but I would much more prefer to be called something like 'Emmie".
"Why are we stressing over something that hasn't happened yet!" Zoe exclaimed as we all started to laugh and smile.
"Come on guys let's get to form before we're late!" Matthew pointed at the time as it was about to be 9:00. We all nodded and started to walk to form.

Form time was usually the time to talk to your friends before lesson. However it was the first day of this year so we got to get our time tables, it was so exciting! My form room was in room 104, I was a science room and we had the best teacher! Miss Harrison, she was always kind to me and I was kind of hoping I would get her this year, unfortunately I didn't.

I sat next to Michelle she was my closest friend. She gave me the best advice ever, like how to tell my ex that I didn't like him anymore (that's another story).
"Oh my goodness you got Miss Harrison for science! You're so lucky!" I exclaimed to Michelle next to me. She seemed to be happy with her teachers, but mine, we won't talk about it.

It became 9:30 so quickly it was almost like time just skipped. I looked down at my timetable and saw that my next lesson was maths in room 201. Maths was my worse lesson and I had Mr Smith, I had mixed feelings about this.

Going into the classroom Mr Smith had a seating plan. I guess it wasn't that bad I was next to my best friend Matthew. We were doing algebra, I was so bored so I decided to make conversation with Matthew. He seemed to extremely good at maths so my plan was going to pretend I needed help with question 9.
"Can you help me please with question 9?" I asked with a cute face that he couldn't say no to.
"Sure! It's really easy actually!" Matthew started to explain question 9 with me. It was so nice talking to him. I didn't even need help with question 9 I just liked his company.

We started to have a good conversation and I ended up laughing with him. I should've been quieter, Mr Smith walked up to us and put me in an awkward situation,
"Having fun there, Emily?" Mr Smith asked. I couldn't tell if he was angry at me for talking or being sarcastic. I just looked at him.
"Please continue with your work, I'm not asking for silence but a little bit of peace won't hurt." Mr Smith exclaimed as he turned around and went back to help to other students.

I wished Mr Smith never came to talk to us because the last 30 minutes of my math class was awkward. We were to scared to talk, My mother would be so mad at me if she finds out that I had gotten detention on my first day.

Time moved slowly as I lifted my head up of the desk looking at the clock. It was 10:30 we had 15 minutes left of lesson. As I looked away from the clock I put my head back on to the desk. I felt bad for Matthew, I was probably taking up half the space of the desk. However, I kind of liked it a bit, if anything Matthews attention would of went straight to me.

After lesson has officially ended Matthew asked me if I was okay, he seemed worried about me apparently I seemed pale and confused.
"Em, you should go to the nurses office, you don't look well," Matthew told me. I didn't want to listen to him I wanted to be with him for the whole of our break. Boys just don't understand us girls sometimes.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I get this all the time," I lied. However the way he was explaining my face seemed to be how my panic attacks would start. I wasn't bothered by it though, at least I'll be with Matthew.

I felt a hot gush wash across my face as my breathing started to get heavy. I was told I was as pale as milk. I started to panic, this was the first time that I have had a panic attack at school before, I can't believe that it had to happen now.

"These voices won't go away!" I screamed as I placed my hands over my head as it rapidly shook.
"Em! Are you okay?" I heard Michelle talking to me but i could hardly hear what she was saying. I fell to the floor and I must have passed out, I woke up a couple of hours later and my environment had changed. I was in the nurses office.

"Ah! I'm glad to see you awake! How are you feeling? Good, bad, Sick?" The school nurse Dr Clarke questioned me. I looked up at with a smile.
"I'm doing great, I feel so much better than before! What happened to me?" I lied I wasn't okay, not at all.
"You fainted, but you seem to be alright now. You should go back to class." Dr Clarke informed me. However I didn't want to go back to class. I didn't want the humiliation.
"Off you go! You should be fine!" After hearing that I knew I couldn't stay here any longer and that I actually had to go back to class.

I stood up and walked to my next class. I opened the door as my next teacher welcomed me I looked up and I was shocked. It was Mr Smith, he was being a substitute for our Science class.
"Welcome back Emily, go sit next to Michelle she told me you guys were really good friends." He said with a smile on his face. I nodded as I went to sit next to Michelle. I was pleased I was with her and not next to someone else.

As I sat down next to Michelle she smiled at me so I smiled back.
"Em! I'm glad your back, how are you feeling?" Michelle asked me in a comforting way.
"I'm fine, I guess. My head still hurts." I mumbled. Michelle nodded at me as we started to start the work.

Half way through the class Mr Smith had to leave the class to talk to a student. All of a sudden I hear my name mentioned as I turned around it was Ava.
"Oh look the psycho bitch finally finished to show her face and turned up to this lesson!" Ava laughed and pointed at me. She must of found out what had happened. I looked away in disappointment as Michelle told me it's okay.

I felt like the whole class was looking at me is disgust I continued with my work. I was upset people now knew me as a 'psycho bitch'. The only problem is someone told Ava that I had passed out. Please tell me it wasn't Matthew.