Pinky promise? (gxg)

Chapter 6

Anna

Maybe Jo and I could be friends again. If I just ignored the way looking at her made me blush.

The truth was that I missed her so much. And I missed the person I was back then. Because no matter how much I wanted it to be, this wasn't who I really was. I missed theatre and I missed quiet Friday nights snuggled with my cat. And I really missed not having to pretend to be anyone.

I knew I had hurt Jo though. I needed to make it right and apologize to her.

I was beginning to admit that maybe my reaction to the kiss was a bit extreme. It must have been hurtful that I completely ignored her. And Miguel too, he was my friend too and I completely abandoned him. It was neither of their faults that I didn't know how to deal with this. They didn't deserve to be treated so horribly.

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I decided to talk to Jo at school the next morning.

I found her leaning by the wall near the lockers after third period. I approached her and took a deep breath.

"Hi", I blurted out, "I'm really sorry"

She didn't say anything so I continued.

"I'm sorry I ran away at the party. I was just surprised and nervous, I'm sorry if you got upset, I just I don't know... Can we just forget this and be friends again?"

She didn't say anything for a bit, quietly evaluating my words. Then she pursed her lips.

"Yeah, you did make me upset actually. We were best friends and then you just suddenly ditch me and ignore me for six months. And you know what that is not an apology"

I was taken-a-back. I didn't know what to say.

"I'm going to class now if you don't mind", she said and pushed past me towards the doors.

"Jo wait, can we just talk about this?"

She didn't answer.

_____________

I didn't see Jo the rest of the day. The next evening I sent her a text but she didn't reply.

I felt lonelier than I had ever felt. Why didn't Jo want to be friends again? I tried to do the right thing. I apologized and now we should be okay again. Wasn't that supposed to be how it worked?

I stayed in my room the whole Saturday that weekend. Samantha, Amy and Olivia were going to the mall, but I said I was a bit sick. I didn't feel like going.

Around seven I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It opened and mum peeked through the doorway.

"Hi sweetie", she said opening the door a little wider, "I haven't seen you much today, is everything okay?"

When I didn't answer she came over and sat beside me on the bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I didn't know whether to tell her everything. I wasn't sure I was ready for that.

"I got in an argument with Jo", I settled on saying.

"Ahh, I haven't seen her around in a while", mum said.

"Yeah, something happened and I hurt her by how I reacted"

I studied mum's expression to see if she could somehow suspect what it was that happened, but she looked neutral, so I continued.

"We started talking again, and I tried to apologize, but she didn't accept it"

Mum thought about it for a bit.

"How did you apologize?"

I was confused.

"What do you mean?"

"What did you say when you apologized?"

I thought back to it, trying to remember what I had said.

"I said I was sorry for how I reacted, I said I was surprised and nervous and that I was sorry if she got upset. Then I asked if we could forget it and be friends again. But she said it wasn't an apology and left to class"

"Maybe Jo is right honey, excuses and ifs don't make a good apology. Think about it from her perspective, to her it sounds like you're trying to justify your actions and shift the blame on her. If you hurt her, she deserves a sincere apology. Try apologizing again. Say that you're sorry and what you're sorry for, admit your mistakes and assure her it won't happen again"

Mum reaches her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into a side hug.

"It will be okay, your friendship is strong"

I wrap my arms around mum's comforting frame to hug her properly.

"Thanks mum", I whisper.

I certainly have a lot to think about. I need to talk to Jo so I can apologize, but properly this time.