Always, omi

Part7

Hi, Atsumu. It's a few minutes past midnight and you've been asleep for about half an hour already. It's a new day, but I'll write on this paper as I'm too lazy to open the new pack.

We're okay now. You're sleeping soundly as I write this, and I hope you don't wake up and catch me still awake. I can't sleep. I'm still.. in a daze? How should I put this... I feel like I won't be able to sleep until I write down what happened earlier.

While I was waiting for you with a constructed apology speech in mind, I grew more weary and nervous. And it didn't help when you opened the door and went directly to the couch without greeting me. I wanted to open my mouth and say something but I found myself pretending to be busy, fiddling with these tubes around me.

It was so awkward that I cringe as I recall it. When a nurse came by to bring my dinner, you stood up to prepare my bed table. It was really quiet and only the vital signs monitor's beeps and the humming of the air purifier were the only sounds in the room.

"The soup's still hot, Omi-kun. If your hands feel numb, I can feed you. I'll just wash my hands first—" You kept talking, but you were avoiding my gaze.

I couldn't help it. I cried; tears falling down from my eyes despite my attempt to stop them. I apologized. The words spilled like water breaking out of a dam. Rushed explanations, and phrases. Looking back now, it may even have been a breakdown. I was sobbing really hard. And your hands found their way to mine, holding them gently- the warmth from your hands, reaching me. You brought my hands to your lips and kissed them. I cried harder, but my heart was swelling with emotions of relief and joy. I knew at that point. We were going to be okay.

"Omi-omi, look at me," You called me with the name you only call me by when you're being extra affectionate. "I'm sorry, too." Then your eyes began to well up. "I'm sorry for making you wait here alone, all day. I'm sorry.."

I looked at you and I felt something tug at my heart. I had an idea what it was.

"Omi-omi, I love you." You said and kissed my hands again before coming closer and for a moment I saw your eyes flicker on my lips and I thought you were going to kiss me. But you wrapped your arms around me slowly, carefully, as if I'm a very fragile thing that would break at the slightest touch. You embraced me in a hug so tight the feeling still lingers up until now. I̶ ̶w̶o̶n̶d̶e̶r̶

I didn't ask for an explanation, but you told me one. That you have been working overtime since you filed a leave so you can stay with me here more. It's funny. I remember you telling me I used to be a firm person who rarely cried, but there I was earlier, crying in your arms again, grateful that I had you.

"You were right," you said in the middle of our embrace, "We don't need the memories, Omi-kun. Let's just have the present. Let's enjoy the moments as they are before they become memories we'll eventually forget. Okay?" For the first time in a few days, we smiled at each other, genuinely and truly. Then you laughed and said the soup was probably all cold now, and you went back to taking care of my dinner. I watched you with a smile as I remembered your words.

I don't remember anything from the past, only new knowledge of them from your stories. But it seems I don't have to remember anymore.

I look at you now as you're snoring on the couch. I'm smiling to myself.

Atsumu, maybe I already have an answer to your three words.

Always,

Omi