Broken

Chapter 29

School. It feels like its the only thing that my mind is stuck on and its absolutely frustrating. With my appointments, the training, the stupid conversation that's currently weighing down my shoulders, the stupid nightmares and school in general is making me feel extremely suffocated.

Its like I have all this pressure on me and its getting overwhelming. Sure Zoe and Cora help me out with some of my assignments but its becoming a lot.

I can barely stay awake in most of my classes and need to be constantly pinched in order to stay awake. The only good think is that I seat in the back of the classroom and cab catch up on a few minutes of sleep without the teachers noticing.

This whole week( really just 2 days since yesterday) is getting tiring. I almost wish I could just backtrack to when things were easier which is most likely when I was a baby or fast forward to the day I die. Is that dark? Oh, well.

It seems like everything is just piling on top of each other like when little kids play with those block thingies and build a tower before it inevitably crumbles. Burns and crashes.

That's at least what my brain relates to.

Back to the point. It seems that the teachers at school want to make my life more miserable that they stuck me with a stupid Biology and Physics assignment that I am simply not getting.

Don't get me wrong. I like to credit myself as a smart person but my smartness isn't really.... How do I say this? The only reason that I was considered smart back then was mostly because there was a lot of pressure put on me by John. If I didn't perform the way he expected, well then I had to spend the rest of my weekend locked in the cold and dark basement with him basically giving me a lecture on 'how stupid I am' and 'what a waste of space that I was'. Not a fun experience.

It was an absolute pain bit I could handle it.

The point is that I had to be smart in order to survive. I didn't study for me. I studied because I didn't want to get beat up and now that I don't have to worry about that, it feels like my brain is on a vacation and I feel like I'm stupid.

Like, holding a pen and trying to read a single page of those annoying biology textbooks almost makes me want to burst into tears. My eyes start to actually water and I'm starting to get more than a few strange looks from my classmates.

On top of that, someone's been leaving me creepy notes in my locker and calling my phone late at night and hanging up the minute I pick up their calls and sometimes there's screaming in the background which I consider more than a little creepy and completely stupid.

So yeah, there's that.

Then there's the nightmares but that can be easily solved. Its only a copule of more days then it will all be over and everything will get backbone track. I hope.

Also, Axel and Blade are the only adults in the mansion since there was an emergency meeting where the guys work so Liam and Noah aren't there.

The parents suddenly remembered that they had children and have decided to cut their trip short. They didn't exactly mention when they were coming back, only that it was soon. So yay.

Its not that I don't like them, its just that I don't know then that well so its awkward. All that talk about searching for years for their missing kid and then they leave. Remembering that conversation, now it just feels like they were feeding me loads of shit.

I mean were they even looking for me or did they just say they were?

Ugh. This is getting sad.

On a better note or worse note, my birthday is coming up in a few days. I'll finally be 14. 1 and 4. Proof that I've been alive for 14 years and have nearly died more times than that. Yay, I am so excited.( please, please note the sarcasm)

I know that this year is definitely going to be different. I actually have a family and friends to celebrate with and maybe I'll get nice presents and cake. Well, I mean it's not like I really care about the present but it would be nice to actually celebrate and if the day is ignored completely that would be even better.

I'm not saying that I hate my birthday but I hate it. I loathe it. Whatever words you want to use that mean I extremely don't like it and would rather it didn't exist which would mean that I didn't exist which again, I would not mind at all.

So sorry guys for this short chapter but I have some Biology and Physics assignments that I haven't completed and need to be focused on.

I probably won't be on here but I wanna thank u guys so much for all your support.

Hope you have a wonderful day or night wherever you are💜💜💜