things that happen to me for no reason that make me cry

why????? mom

No matter how many times I try to have a daughter and mother time you want to go spend time with your other boyfriend's i am tired of keeping secrets for someone who doesn't care about me and calls me fat says that she is embarrassed of my body and says how do I not eat but still I am fat and compares me to others girls saying that they are skinner

Fuck you for not believing me that I got raped multiple fucking times and touched two
Fucking times because you think I like it because when you were younger you where raped and didn't like it then you started to like it and you expect me to like getting raped and touched many times

When I every I got raped and touched you were never there you were with your other boyfriend's being a fucking hoe

When I told I was raped and touched and I explained how it happened when I was around 5-7 you just said that why I didn't tell you earlier but I didn't even fucking know what those men were doing to me until I was 9 I got a nightmare of those men did to me and I told you when I was 10 but you didn't care for me

But once I was 12 right now you fucking think I liked it and telling me that if I don't feel comfortable with my stepdad she will leave him but she hasn't and he raped me and you didn't do nothing absolute nothing every fucking day I have to wake up remembering a man that raped me is living with me

I tried to give you love but you didn't want mom I tried to hug you and kiss you on your cheek because I always saw my friends do that to they're mom so I tried that but all you did tell at me to get away

You know what that fucking man did to me but didn't believe me why because he said "why would I do it I look at her as my daughter"
Bitch please

I cry every night because my own fucking mother doesn't believe that I got raped multiple times and touched . I am tired of honestly tired of crying for Someone who doesn't care for me

I hate that she makes it look like we are a perfect family but we are not like tell your fucking friends what my stuipdd bitch stepdad did to me

I just want to die but I don't want to leave my siblings , grandma and aunties but I always wonder if I died would my mom care I died in the kitchen with lots of blood on me . will she cry or change for the better

I honestly feel like a mistake of the family
Feel like nobody loves me
Cares for me