The Light of Knowledge

Chapter two, in which people are powerful beings

Do not trust your mind,

Never!

It will be careless

With your life

The way it is careless

With its own thoughts.

-Sri Chinmony

When I wake up, I can still feel the warmth on my skin, see the flickering flame through closed eyes. It was late when I came back to my room last night. My hair smells like ash and smoke. I have to take a shower. I stumble into the bathroom as I rub the sleep from my eyes and hiss at the cold water. The fogg begins to fade from my brain and I think of last night in all it's flame-lit colours. Cigarettes and quiet voices, words like honey and shadows. Alive. I should do this more often. I step out of the shower and rub my hair with a towel. Too long. The hair is too long. Today is Saturday, that means I have a pupil's magazine meeting in the morning. Now that I'm awake, I might as well do my math homework beforehand. Once I'm dressed, I sit down at my desk and start with my work. It's weird how easy the exercises seem this morning. Even though I haven't slept too much, I'm more focused than ever. Going to the cave was a good idea. On my way to breakfast, I run into Charlie. „Came home well, Williams? Didn't crash any satanic rituals while you were at it?" I smile sweetly and cut him off as we get our oatmeal. „Shut up. I'll keep coming to the cave, you can't stop me." „Not even a thunderstorm can." He smirks. „But hey, it's a good thing you're waterproof. Now Cameron owes me fifty dollars." I put my plate down on the table. „You bet on wether I would join the club?" „Sure. I knew you would come, and if it was just to see me." We finish breakfast and walk to the meeting together. The school newspaper has it's own room, a small dusty one in the main building. The walls are covered with bookshelves and we might not have a window, but we do have three functional typewriters. As usual, the first thing Charlie does is light the candles, because he knows it freaks me out. „One day, you will burn this whole thing down", I predict and quickly collect the loose papers from the tables. „So what? Maybe they'll give us a better room then." „True."

I spend my weekend as I usually do, finishing my homework and doing repetition. On Sunday, the rain stops for a while. So in the afternoon, I take my books outside and make myself at home down at the lake. From here, I can see the boys at soccer practice. Sometimes I look up, wondering if it bothers me that I'm not on the team. No, it doesn't matter. We already have gym class, I don't think more running is necessary. I'm better off with my Latin vocabulary. Memorizing it outside in nature feels easier than inside. I take my time and make messy notes and connections on a piece of paper. The next time I look up, practice seems to be over. Most of the boys are gone, but I notice Todd who is passing by the lake, looking low. I often spend time with him because of the annual, so I already know he has kind of an anxious quality. Quite shy in big groups. That's why I was surprised how happy and relaxed he seemed in the cave on friday. I hope he's alright. „Hey Todd, over here!", I shout and wave with my Latin book. He looks around for a moment and then walks towards me. I underline some of my words and hear him drop down next to me onto the boardwalk. „So, how was soccer? You seem practically ablaze with excitement." Todd shrugs. „I prefer rowing. But I guess... I guess I haven't made that clear." I try not to look to commiserative, but I just want to give the poor boy a hug. „Why don't you talk to Nolan again? Maybe he'll let you switch." „No, no, it's fine, really." He takes a look at the papers that somehow spread out everywhere around me. „Is it possible that you're ahead with the vocabulary?" „Maybe. It happens sometimes. But I still have to do English. I guess you're done with that?", I ask with a smile. Todd nods pensively. „Pitts said Mr. Keating will be soccer coach from next time on.", he remarks quietly. „Oh, I'd like to see that. Perhaps I'll watch next time." „You don't have to." „Faciam!"