Crying Tears of Gold - a Slave Loki Fanfic

seven devils in my house

Tony felt the beginning of a panic attack threaten to swallow him whole, his throat felt bizarrely itchy, like it was closing in. Though he knew it was mostly in his head, his past trauma making him feel like he couldn't breathe. And he knew precisely just what triggered that.

Loki was standing there, in the middle of the living room. In Tony's lakeside cabin. And Loki brought with him memories Tony had been trying to forget — or maybe not outright forget, that was impossible, but Tony was doing rather well burying those memories away and not thinking about them. That was why he moved here, away from the city and all that could have reminded him of what he went through. Having Loki here suddenly... all of the processes Tony made, gone in the blink of an eye. Loki's presence alone had that much of an effect.

Loki was in his house. Loki was everything Tony ran from, and it felt like it'd finally caught up with him, like Tony could only run for so long.

"I don't like this," he said, eventually breaking the dreadful silence that'd taken over the atmosphere since Steve so gradually invited Loki inside. "I don't like this at all, Steve." Tony crossed his arms over his chest, his voice was low, though it wasn't a whisper and he was sure Loki could hear that.

There was a brief pause from Steve's side, Steve's glance travelled back and forth between Loki and Tony, like he was thinking.

Of course, Tony thought, of fucking course, Steve didn't think at all when he let Loki in.

"Loki," Steve trailed off. Loki visibly flinched at his name being called alone, but if he thought he could fool Tony, if Loki thought he could manipulate them into thinking he was harmless enough so that they let their guard down. Maybe he could fool Steve, but not Tony.

"Can you tell us what this is all about?" Steve went on.

Tony noted, without really knowing how to feel about it, Loki suddenly looked even paler, if that was possible. Another obvious fact was that he had been unexplainably silent ever since his arriving at their front door, no questions Steve asked would receive any answer, which was disturbing. Tony recalled himself thinking Loki talked too much during their previous encounter in the Stark Tower, he never thought he'd prefer a talking Loki to a muted one.

No, this was wrong. This was disturbing. Whatever game Loki was playing.

"What's wrong, hmm?" Tony said, giving Loki a defiant look. "Can't speak? Cat got your tongue?"

Loki gulped. He was trembling almost out of control now, his eyes darting back and forth between Tony and Steve, and eventually came to a halt at Tony. So, Tony thought, Loki found him more intimidating than Steve, or that was what Loki wanted him to believe. (It was all an act, right?)

"Come on, you weren't shy before." He added, and earned himself a quick warning glance from Steve, which Tony ignored on purpose. No, Loki might be able to mess with Steve's mind, but not Tony's, he wouldn't fall for it, whatever trick this was.

"Loki," Steve said, voice a bit louder, but still far less threatening when compared to Tony's. "You have to tell us what is going on."

More silence from Loki's side, though he was looking at Steve now. His face a mixture of fear and desperation. Huh, Tony thought, dude's a decent actor. Who would've thought. Still not good enough though.

"You know what," Tony interrupted, he was done with this. "I'm alerting the authorities now. I've had enough." He pulled out a phone, Loki was still chained, sure, chained and fragile-looking, but Tony wasn't going to make a mistake by underestimating him.

Only then, before Tony could actually dial the number, he stopped. Because Loki was... he wasn't speaking, but he was making a sound from his throat, like a sob, and the look he was giving Tony now. Though what Tony found most disturbing was probably the way he began trembling out of control. His mouth was open, and the only sound that came out was that desperate sob. He kept shaking his head frantically, desperately, tears were running down the extremely pale skin, and that, it did stop Tony's finger as it hovered just above the screen.

Loki couldn't... it couldn't be an act. It was raw, and no matter how good an actor you are, you couldn't fake... this.

"Tony," Steve said, voice barely a whisper, though Tony knew what his friend meant.

"Alright," Tony said, eyes not leaving Loki who, at this point, had descended into a sobbing mess. "Alright, Reindeer Games, let's hear what you have to say...." He realised his mistake the moment he'd said it, the way Loki flinched gave him an urge to mentally kick himself. "Or don't... just, okay, so you can't speak?"

Loki gulped, it looked like it took him quite an effort to cool down from whatever episode this was. It was not until Tony, to assure he wasn't going to alert the authorities anymore, put down his phone that Loki's breathing started to return to normal. He shook his head then, slowly this time. So that meant he couldn't speak, whatever the reason was.

"Okay..." Tony nodded, feeling lost and helpless (and part of him still wished this was all a crazy dream he'd wake up from anytime soon)

Steve sighed, and somehow it brought Tony out of his little trance. When he began walking over to Loki Loki reflectively took a step backward, and Tony almost stopped his friend from being anywhere within the God's arm's reach, still not fully trusted Loki.

But Steve was already in front of their houseguest, and if Loki looked like he had an urge to take yet another step backward, he stood still, though his eyes were glued to the floor. Still shaking slightly.

(Tony wondered what Loki was thinking, if he expected a sudden hit from Steve. What Steve was thinking, what he was doing there, so close to Loki like that)

Then Steve cautiously, slowly, reached out a hand to gently pull at Loki's chain, testing its strength. "It's okay," he mouthed when Loki tried to shield away. "I'm gonna try to get you out of these now, would that be okay?"

Loki gave a slight nod after a breath or two.

"Steve," Tony said from where he stood, warning in his voice.

"It's okay," Steve repeated, though this time it was directed at Tony.

"Okay," he said, to Loki this time, his hand still on the chain around Loki's body. "Don't do anything stupid, or I'll make sure you regret it. Do you understand?"

Loki's eyes were locked to Steve's now. He gulped again, then he nodded.