James McVey's little sister

Chapter 23

I pulled my hand back and tears gathered in my eyes, preparing themselves to trail down ny cheeks. As the first one broke free from my eye I backed into the wall, not taking my eyes off of my hand.

I just slapped connor. With this realisation hitting me, I ran. I opened the front door and ran. I had only got to the end of the street when I was pulled back by connor. O was screaming, crying, shouting and kicking against him as he tried to embrace me.

I needed him to be angry. I know he feels sorry for me but I can't do pity. I hate it.

He needs to be angry; why isnt he angry.

Soon enough, i gave up but still refused connors embrace.

"shhhhh Thea im fine, calm down" he whispered as i struggled out of his grip. I looked into his eyes and was met with pity and confusion.

"stop. just stop. be angry. please, i dont want your pity. i need you to be angry and hurt. show me im human and i hurt people. prove to me the voices are right." i whispered to him. after realising i had mentioned the voices my gaze dropped from his eyes to the floor and i stood still.

His arms dropped from the tops of mine and he stood up. He placed his finger under my chin and tilted it up so that i could look into his eyes. i still refused to look at him avoiding both, his eyes and his bright red cheek.

"thea look at me." i finally looked up at him, as tears fell from my eyes at the sight of his face. knowing i caused that...i hurt one of my family members when all they wanted to do was help me..and theyre still not angry at me.

"I cant be angry with you because i know you didnt mean it. if you had meant it i would have been angry but you didnt mean it and i can tell that because of your reaction. please, listen to me. youre beautiful, perfect, amazing and i know you dont believe me now but one day you will. and you'll look back on this moment and understand why im not currently shouting and balling." tears gathered in his eyes as he spoke. now we were both stood at the end of a street, crying.

i didnt reply; i didnt know how to. i think be understood that though as all he did was pulled me into his chest and kiss my forehead.

"i love you" he whispered.

As i cried into his chest i realised i would cherish this moment for a long, long time.

Adter a few minutes, connor pulled away.

"come on, lets go back to te flat" be smiled and i forced a smile back. he geld my hand as we walked down the street. aparently i had ran further than i thought.

as we were walking, hand in hand, con asked me the dreaded question.

"Thea, youre still eating properly aren't you?" i carried on walking, despite my urge to freeze. i kept a normal face, despite my urge to let it crumple. i denied, despite my urge to be honest.

"yes" i sighed. knowing not to take it any further, but most probably seeing through my lies, con asked no more. i suppose thats one of the reasons i love him so much- he knows when to stop and when enough is enough.

as we walked inside i looked around the living room, which was fairly tidy. then i walked into the bathroom while con walked into the kitchen. the bathroom was the opposite of the living room. there was blood on the floor, immediately making me want to pick at mu scabbed over arms. my blade was on the floor, making the urge even stronger. i walked over to it, shakily.

my hand, rapidly and uncontrollably shking i picked it up delicately.

i laid it in the palm of my hand and stared at it for a few seconds before droppibg it in my make up back and grabbing sone tissue to wipe up the blood. i then wiped the counter in fesr of any one suspecting anything.