• Serpent Among Crows • Kaz Brekker

9

"Zhen, there you are!"

Relief washed over her in an instant as she heard Jespers voice approaching beyond the music and chatter. She span, glancing around with frantic eye movements, tucking her knife away shakily.

"What happened, you get lost?" She caught a glimpse of his lackadaisical grin before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

It was a casual, friendly gesture that would have usually filled her with warmth because it was Jesper - but all she felt was heavy, strong arms encircled around her, holding her - the smell of alcohol on his breath hitting her in a wave.

Her entire body froze, heart leaping into her throat and pounding at an erratic rhythm that caused the edges of her vision to blur.

Although he was a bit intoxicated he must have felt the change, noticed her abnormal quietness. He looked down and recognised the glassy look in her eyes. Realisation dawned on him and he pulled away from her as though he'd been burnt.

Everything was ridiculously loud, the glittering lights stinging her eyes as she took in a shuddering breath. One hand pressed against her chest, eyes slowly lifting to meet Jespers worried gaze.

His eyebrows were drawn in. "You alright?" He asked. She just noticed he had her coat draped over his arm. "Zhen?"

His eyes caught movement behind her shoulder and his hand caught her sleeve this time so he could gently tug her out of the way of some rowdy drunks passing by. But she flinched away from him, looking panicked, one of her hands falling on her knifes hilt at her belt.

"Whoa, whoa," he put his hands out, lowering his voice to something gentler. "Okay. You're okay. It's just me."

Zhen closed her eyes for a brief second, trying to snap herself out of the haze taking over her mind like a fog settling over the city. She swallowed, exhaling.

"Sorry." She croaked.

"What happened?"

"Nothing...I..."

"Forget the drinks, yeah?" He cautiously held out his arm with her coat draped over for her to take. "Let's just go back to the Slat." He suggested.

"I'm sorry." She put her hand on her coat over his arm and let him begin leading her through the crowds, trying to keep to more open spaces and away from the noise and bustle.

She felt him shrug.

"Don't apologise. It's not like I can't get drinks there."

She wanted to smile but couldn't bring herself to.

She was so grateful that Jesper was walking her back because she was sure if she was on her own she'd be a trembling wreck in an alley way. The entire walk he kept his eye on her as she tried to stop herself from detaching.

When they got to the Slat he held the door open for her, letting her enter first.

She met his eyes and half expected to see pity, but he just gave her a tentative smile.

"Sorry about the drinks." She murmured absently as she quickly made her way upstairs, only one destination in mind as she fought down the urge to be sick. She couldn't face him.

She felt awful about leaving him without an answer or explanation, thankful for him staying with her, but she could feel the resolve she had built up over the years like a second skin slowly crumbling - and she did not want to be anywhere but the familiarity of the office if it happened.

When she got there the room was empty.

When Kaz returned an hour or so later, he was surprised to see her sat on the window ledge with her legs crossed, half perched on the sill and half outside over the roof shingles. She had her black shawl wrapped around her shoulders and arms, crossed tightly for warmth that she could not get. Her head was turned away from him, her hair down for once and covering her face from his view.