How We Operate - A MerDer Story

Chapter 5

Meredith pulled up to her house and tried to remind herself to breathe. Today had been...unexpected. Derek had been unexpected. Derek Shepherd. The man she had had a great day with, except for now she had to pretend that that day had never happened. Because he was her coworker, her competition, that day had to have not happened.

It was ridiculous. And stupid. And karma. Really bad big karma. She wasn't sure for what exactly. But karma was definitely kicking her ass. She moved to this crazy city, hated it, met an amazing great guy who seemed normal, and he ended up being her competition for the job of her dreams. Definitely karma. Or something stupid. She hated her life sometimes.

"Hey Meredith!" her temporary roommates cheerful voice greeted her as she walked in. "How was your first day?"

"Oh it was just wonderful," Meredith said sarcastically, wondering why the hell she was living with Izzie. Yes, they had gone to med school together, but Izzie Stevens was the world's perkiest person. And she hated perky. Really hated perky.

"That didn't sound very wonderful," Izzie frowned.

"The hospital itself is great," Meredith winced slightly.

"What isn't great?" Izzie asked.

"Derek Shepherd."

"The famous neurosurgeon?"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed, falling into a chair. "Who apparently loves Starbucks coffee."

"One second...Derek...Derek Shepherd...Starbucks guy?"

"Yes, Starbucks guy," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Is Derek Shepherd," Izzie nodded slowly. "Mer...I've met him. Briefly but I've met him. He's gorgeous."

"Seriously?" Meredith sighed. "Seriously, Iz. He's gorgeous and amazing and Starbucks guy but he's my coworker. He's the competition for chief. Dr. Suterman promised it to both of us. He's competition. So yeah, he's gorgeous and brilliant and an amazing kisser but he's my coworker. Which means no. No Starbucks. No kissing. No coffee."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Meredith frowned. "He's...my coworker. The competition and my coworker. Sleeping with or dating coworkers is bad, Iz. Really, really bad and I can't do it. So it never happened."

"But you liked him, Mer," Izzie shrugged. "You really liked him. I saw you...you were all secret smiles and everything. You're just going to ignore that because you work together?"

"Yes."

"That's makes no sense."

"It makes complete sense," Meredith sighed, putting her head on the table. "Remember Brad Jenkins, Iz? He ended up transferring to Mercy West."

"Well yeah..." Izzie sighed. "But that was...that was mainly sex. This is...Derek. Starbucks guy."

"No, this is Derek. Coworker. Competition. Future employee. Once I kick his ass and get chief."

"Meredith, I've never seen you smile like that about a guy before," Izzie argued.

"Well I...I never...fine," Meredith sighed. "But that never existed. Not anymore. It was...no more."

"That can't just go away."

"Yes it can," she nodded. "And it is. Going away. Forever. No more Starbucks guy. Just...competition. Coworker. It's going away, Iz."

"But...don't you still like him?" Izzie frowned. "If he wasn't the competition. You can't just not like him anymore."

"That's not the point."