𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑪𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀

☏︎

We were never perfect.

I didn't mean, 'Never perfect for each other', we were okay, i meant, we were not perfect.

I knew that we weren't supposed to happen, and so did he, but we did nothing.

Our hearts, minds, bodies, did nothing to stop it.

Like the sun and the moon, we were not similar. I suppose that is one of the reasons why i was drawn to him.

Like day and night, we were not the same, the way we lived was never the same.

Like fire and ice, our hearts were not alike, our feelings were different.

However, those differences, the ones i thought were amazing and good, were the ones that had built the walls around the two of us, suffocating and shutting us out of the other's life.

Life had drifted us apart without us knowing.

The things that used to be normal between us, the little things that we promised, had become things we stopped doing and because we stopped doing them we were scared to try them again.

Our hearts were no longer connected, they were torn apart by life. Each of our lives pulled us away. Not giving us a chance to even hold on.

I wanted to believe that we can fix it. That he can fix me. I needed him to fix me.

He was never the type to give any attention or warmth to anyone, but he did to me. I was different. He made me feel as if nothing mattered but him.

He knew what was around me, i told him what was happening, i warned him; he chased the demons away.

I tried to remember it all, the memories, hoping it would give me that warm feeling in my heart, that smile on my face that i usually get when i think of them.

But you see, nothing can last forever. Not even us.

They slowly reached me. I fought them at first, he helped me. I fought them on my own, i was strong.

No matter what happened i had always fought them, even when numb of all feelings, i kept going.

I still remember it all. Very clearly. The feeling.

The cold chill that runs through my body. The room goes dark. All i can hear is my mind screaming at me, throwing all of my thoughts in my face. The feeling of the air running out of my lungs and holding onto something, anything around me hoping to feel stable.

The feeling of suffocation. Tears rolling down my face until there is nothing left. Crying until my voice is gone.

Then...nothing but the feeling of emptiness.

You always feel it when they surround you. You always hear what that voice says, no matter what.

I ignored it because i had him. It was there, and when it showed up, i fought it and he helped.

But sometimes they come back.

And when they do.

They don't stop until they get what they want.

But the worse part of it all. Is that they come when everything is crashing down. They come when it all hurts, they come when you are at your weakest. It's as if they know when to sneak up on you.