Just don't let go

Chapter eight

I woke up to Derek sleeping soundly next to me. We had a long day yesterday. I quietly slid out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I turned the water on hot and let it run. I stared in the mirror and I felt beautiful. Never once i felt beautiful after Andrew raped me. I always lookied in the mirror feeling shameful and sad like I deserved it because I was to afraid to tell anyone.
Not today I felt new like Derek opened a new gate way to life for me one ill never close the door to. I stepped in the tub feeling the hot water on my body still numb from last night. I sat down in the hot water rethinking last night. Derek was so much more gentle and kind then Andrew and soon that would be token away by a stupid desiese. I tried to oush that thought away.
Him dying.
I couldn't it came back and I cried I cried hard too.
Why why did this have to happen to the best thing to ever enter my life. I wish I had the money to pay for his surgery. The doctor note said with out it he won't make it paste September. I began shaking I had anxiety problems from problems I had as a kid. I couldn't stop.

BANG BANG BANG!

"CHELSIE ARE YOU OKAY!"
It was Derek, he heard me?
Shit.
He couldn't see me like this so down and broken and he would know its because of him. His sickness.
"I'm fine, please Derek just g- go a-away." that was it I began to sob hard.
He waked in running twords me. His arms pulled me to his chest.
"Baby what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
He stayed there holding me to wear I couldn't shake as hard. My knees were pressed against my chest with my arms folded holding them there.
"I.. I ..." "Shhh." he said quietly to my ear. Then kissing my head. "I was thinking about you." I said. His face turned from pained seeing me cry to an expression I never saw before.
A tear strolled down his lovely face.

His face of perfection haunted by me.

He knew what I was talking about. "Chelsie don't think if that kind of stuff okay. I love you and you love me that's all that matters I'm always going to be here for you. Even after I ..." I covered his mouth with my hand I did not wanna hear another word.
"I'm so scared." I admitted. He knew I was scared an I could tell he wanted to do something, but there was nothing he could do even if he tried.
"Baby I love you everything will be okay you'll see." Derek's voice was horsed from sleeping a while ago and slightly broken from trying his best not to cry. He took the sponge that hung around the faucet and lathers it up in soap.
He began rubbing circles in my back. Damn that was relaxing. He pulled my head gently back running water threw it and lathering it up to with shampoo. "Baby you don't have..." he pressed his fingers to my lips. "hush my love." he continued with my hair and rubbing my back now and then. When he was done he helped me stand and rapped a towel across me while scooping me up and caring me to the bedroom. He set me down and dressed me in a pair of jeans with a black tank too and throw over shirt he had taste it did look cute.
I knew he was trying to be kind after seeing me breakdown like that.
I looked in the mirror across the bed my eyes were still puffy from crying I looked like crap.
Im geussing he saw me and read my thoughts. He came over and kissed my eyes my cheeks my forehead and my lips, then spoke softly the word. "Beautiful" I opened my eyes and stared at him how did a girl as fucked up as me, get a guy so truly amazing like him. He wasn't famous he wasn't a star he didn't do anything spectacular yet to me he was more than anything. I walked out to the kitchen and began to pull stuff out for breakfast. "What would you like for breakfast dear?" I asked. He sat on the couch staring at the blank wall. "Nothing baby, I'm all good." "Come on something please." He turned and stared at me. He stood and walked over. His hands went on my shoulders and up to my neck as he kissed me. He kissed me like he was a pro. He stopped and sat at the table looking out the window. "I wouldn't mind some cerial." He said smiling back at me. I smiled back and grabbed the boxes of cerial that were there and I got milk and bowls and spoons. I sat down next him and grabbed the cerial. "what's on your mind?" I asked him.
"Nothing." he said in return. But something told me of wasn't nothing.

Sorry this is late I've been busy the next one will be better i promise thanks for reading please comment! <3 Skye