All you are //Quackitynotfound

To feel

His hands shook, he had thought about moments such as this, although the only difference was that this was actually happening, and it was very real.

Alex spoke with gritted teeth, "C'mon George, pick up." just looking at George's name illuminated on Alex's phone made him want to throw the damn thing across the drive and move to a different country under a false name, quitting his job as a streamer and buying a house somewhere so secluded that there was nobody else within a 100 mile radius- all for a guy he liked.

But of course this was too drastic, although thinking about it, if given the chance he would've booked a flight for England in no time. He reminded himself that he was okay, there was no need for any extreme measures, if things went south, it would be awkward yeah sure, but it would be something he could work through.

Anxiety flew up his spine once more, he really didn't want to ruin anything, he really didn't, but this was the final stage of his acceptance; this was the key to accepting who he was, maybe vocalizing his sentiment may also aid in contributing towards his clarity.

George didn't pick up, anxiety was replaced with irritation, which quickly flipped back to panic when George's name flashed up on the screen once more, casting a light that bounced off the interior of his car.

This time George had called him.

With a shaking thumb he answered the call, switching to speaker so he didn't have to raise his arm that much.

"Hello?" George's voice echoed around the interior of the car, in a way it was refreshing to hear.
"Hey man!" Alex answered shakily, failing to steady his breath.
"You literally called me, what do you want." George's laugh sounded sleepy through the phone,
"Wait were you asleep just now?" Alex felt his temperament switch to dread as he realized that this was probably the time of day where George slept most often,
"Yeah..." George answered lethargically, though through the fatigue Alex could tell he was smiling, "Wait isn't it like really late for you?" George pondered, Alex denied the statement, in a way grateful for the diversion, "Anyway shut up, why did you call me."

As the inevitability of the confession drew closer panic was yet again instilled, he realized that he called George on impulse with no actual planning or preparation leading up to the event; so he did what he did best, he improvised.

"I've been meaning to say- well there's been a few things on my mind and I just wanted to talk about them, is that okay? I can wait if you're-"
"No Alex it's okay, tell me." George's soft tone eased Alex's nerves, he appreciated that he was taking the time to listen
"Well, recently i've been doing a lot of thinking and um- some of those thoughts have lead to me making a hard decision."
"Are you breaking up with me??" George yelled down the phone, Alex burst out laughing from the absurdity of George's sudden outburst, along with the fact that Alex was hinting at the very opposite.
"No no dude, I mean like- i've made myself- I have just thought a lot about this uh- specific person."
"Mhm." He replied, Alex heard George's sheets rustle down the mic which made him shiver slightly at picturing George in his bed, but he pushed the thought away and concentrated,

"Who is it?" George inquired,
"No it's too difficult to say, I don't really now how to vocalize everything i'm feeling just yet."
"Can you try?" George's joking tone had dropped from his voice, he could probably tell that Alex was being serious, "can you try for me?" a familiar warmth lit up in Alex's throat when he heard George say this, for George he would do pretty much anything, so he tried.

"I love them, George," Alex breathed, his nerves ever grew, and he was certain they wouldn't stop growing until he actually confronted it head on, but for now he took baby steps, "Like, a lot."
"Okaay, can you tell me who 'they' are?"
He could tell all George was doing was attempting to get the same answer out of Alex but from a different approach, Alex shook his head as he spoke, knowing full well George couldn't see him, "No, not just yet." George hummed in receipt,
"Okay... describe them to me." Alex swallowed and stared ahead through his windscreen, trying to figure out how to provide a description of the man he was talking to without making it too obvious.