4. spencer needs a new mattress

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(trigger warnings: case material, very brief trauma mention which is nonspecific)
(case warnings: child abduction & murder)

I followed the pattern of the minute little designs on the wall of the plane with my eyes. I'm shaking my left leg up and down, biting and sucking my lip and resting my chin in my hand.

We were on the way to a child abduction case. Time is of the essence.

"You okay?" asked Tara quietly, sitting down next to me. I turned to her and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, you?" She nodded.

"You're really anxious, huh?" I shrugged. "Karimova, you're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Tara." Tara put her hand on my arm in comfort with a kind smile.

We touched down in Billings and Tara and I were sent to talk to one of the families. I still had this anxiety about me, I suppose, since Tara kept looking over to check if I was okay.

-

We all boarded the plane with sighs. I'd been crying, so had JJ. Everyone was awfully upset. "We saved a kid today," Emily whispered to me, putting her hand on mine.

"And two died." I felt sick. Emily shut her eyes and nodded slowly. "It doesn't ever get easier doing this job."

We all needed sleep. I hadn't gone more than a consecutive night without a nightmare. I had a hard enough time sleeping on airplanes, even without these constant nightmares.

Everyone was fast asleep except myself and Emily. "Is my being awake keeping you up?" I asked her. She shook her head. "You really need to sleep, Emily,"

"So do you,"

"I'll be fine," I told her. Emily shook her head.

"Galina, have you been sleeping lately? I'm not trying to pry, I'm just asking,"

"I'm good, Emily. Thank you,"

"You should really try to get some sleep, Lina. Is there something I can do to help you?"

"No, no, but thank you. Try to sleep, Emily." Emily again shook her head. "Why?"

"I'm fine. I'm just thinking,"

"About what?"

"Nothing much. I just find the night comforting." I nodded. That was quite understandable. "You?"

"Mm. Been busy. I haven't had much time to myself lately, lot of work," I murmured.

"Hmm. Yeah. Have you been doing okay? At Rossi's a few weeks ago you seemed really upset. I'm sorry if it was something I said, or...I apologize, Karimova,"

"No, don't worry about me. I'm fine," I insisted. "Mission was rough, but I'm alright, it's been so long."

Emily fought with herself. I decided to break her internal conversation. "I know you probably read the report on my assignment. It was three days, eleven years ago. I'm fine now, Emily."

She did not believe me, not one bit.

"Okay. If you're not okay, get some help, okay? I'm here, we all are. It's okay to need help sometimes, Karimova." I smiled slightly.

"You should take your own advice."

-

Another night of Spencer in my apartment. I felt better with him there. Somehow it was easier to sleep, his presence was comforting. "Your couch is much more comfortable than my bed, anyway,"

"Spence, you need a new mattress."

My brother texted me that night.

[Max Karimov] sorry, I know it's late. wish you were home. it won't be the same without you.

[Galina Karimova] i know. hope it's not TOO rough over there. lmk when you land, okay?

[Max Karimov] of course, love you

[Galina Karimova] love you too nerd

I smiled at my phone and Spencer gave me a smile. "What?" I asked him.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Every summer my family goes to Russia to visit my grandparents, my teenage brother's the only one left who goes,"

"Right."

Spencer slept on the couch, while I slept in my room tossing and turning. A nightmare rocked me awake, and I apparently cried out loudly enough to wake my friend. He came into my room and saw my eyes glisten in the moonlight.

"Galya, hey, what happened? Are you alright? Do you need me?"

"I'm really sorry, Spencer, I don't like to wake you up..."

"Don't apologize. This is why I stay here. I'm glad I can help you. What do you need me to do?" I pat the empty space on the bed beside me. He looked at it and saw I wanted him to sit.

He sunk down into my bed and sat next to me. I put my head on his shoulder and he helped me lay down.

"Spence, you don't have to be here, I know, so thank you," I wept.

"Anything. You're my best friend, Galina."

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