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must have done something right
"SO, THIS WAS YOUR HUMBLE ABODE IN THE 20S?"
Stefan looked up at Athena in shock, not expecting her to have followed him to his old apartment after they left the bar. He didn't particularly want to return to Mystic Falls, but he knew that they had no choice, and he'd ultimately rather be anywhere than Chicago right now.
Besides, Klaus wouldn't stop until Elena was dead, and the faster that happened, the faster Stefan could return to his version of normalcy.
Clearing his throat, he tears his eyes away from Athena as she steps into the dusty apartment, her hands in the pockets of her pink romper. "Yeah, I, uh, don't remember a lot but,"
Athena pulled her hands out of her pockets, picking at the chipped nail polish on her nails belatedly. Smiling wryly, the goddess huffed a small laugh. "This is awkward, and it shouldn't be. I mean, all the times I pictured seeing you again this wasn't really one of them,"
Stefan sat back in the old, creaky chair and heaved a sigh, meeting her eyes reluctantly. "I don't know what you want me to say, Athena,"
"Maybe that you missed me," She shrugs dramatically, clapping her hands against her thighs. "That you love me, and if you're feeling generous, maybe even a kiss. Maybe you could ask me what the hell happened to me over these past three months, instead of not even making eye contact with me."
"You shouldn't–" He cuts himself off, frustration washing over his face. "You shouldn't want that from me anymore. I messed everything up, you shouldn't just forgive me."
"I never said that I forgive you, Stefan," She stepped towards him, dark eyes a shade of defensiveness that made them nearly black. "I'm just trying to give you the chance to make things right, and you're ignoring me. Do you understand how stupid that is?"
Standing, Stefan swung his arm out, gesturing to the derelict apartment he once inhabited. "How could you still want to be with me after everything I've done? Not just to you, but to everybody. I'm a ripper, Athena, I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to stop being like this,"
"Stefan, don't,"
"That closet in there?" He pointed to a small alcove, green eyes hard and full of hurt. "There are hundreds upon hundreds of names written on the walls because I relived my kills over and over. When I couldn't remember anything else, I'd go stand in that closet and look at that list, and I'd think of how good it felt to kill those people,"
He scoffs, the noise unsteady through his emotion. "I broke your heart, Athena. You can't tell me I didn't. You were supposed to be able to trust me implicitly, and you couldn't, because I kept doing the wrong thing. I left you when you needed me most. And I– I want to do all of those things. I want to tell you that I missed you more than anything, because I have, and I still love you more than I ever thought possible. I want to know what happened to you because all it took was one look at you to see that you aren't okay, but I can't, Athena. I can't do this to you again, because living these past three months knowing that I screwed everything up with you almost killed me."
