how to save a life

9: the damage is done

Langa sat in his bedroom, on his bed, next to the vacant mattress on his floor. His covers were a wreck. His room was a mess. Blankets were hanging off his bed over the blankets that were thrashed onto the floor in the midst of Reki's night terror.

Reki.

Tears were dripping down his face profusely. He missed his dad. He missed feeling like a family. He missed his jokes. He missed dinners with more than 2 people. He missed how comfortable his mother was with him, how he eased her anxiety. How he made her into the person she was. How he allowed her to blossom socially. He knew how to bring out the best in everyone. There was a longing in his heart for him. For these things. Something that he felt shortly after the shock of his dad's death passed.

Everytime he thought of Reki. Everytime he thought of Reki nothing but the pain of his dad's absence came to mind. He couldn't get passed his name without thinking of what Reki's mom had yelled at his. He felt angry and sad.

He knew he shouldn't be mad at Reki, he hadn't done anything wrong. But he couldn't find another place to direct it. He ignored the countless texts and calls from the redhead out of anger. He didn't want to feel like this anymore.

But he didn't want to feel empty again either. He didn't want to feel like he did before he met Reki. He didn't want to feel like he did after his dad's death.

Right now he felt like both.

•••

Reki felt the heat of panic surrounding his body as Langa didn't answer his texts or silent FaceTime calls on the eerily quiet ride back home.

His head was pounding. Everything he needed was still there. The extra bandages the hospital had given him. His prescription pain medicine. It was all still there, forgotten in the heat of the moment. Ignored by his mother.

He could feel his sister's silently sobbing in the backseat. None of them wanted to go home. They pulled into the garage and found their dad opening the door to them, drunk.

They watched uneasily as he took swaying steps towards the car. They winced while he hunched over and threw up down the front of himself. Reki cringed, his eyebrows furrowing tensely when his dad passed out onto the hood of their car with a thump before sliding down onto the dirty garage floor.

His mother got out of the car, helping him up and starting to clean up the mess with tender and loving hands. He didn't understand how she still loved him. After everything, she still had it in her heart to care about him.

To care about him while ignoring her children.

Reki's wheelchair had been thrown on the side of the road by his mom when it didn't fit in their car. It would've fit if she had taken a moment to fold it up, but she didn't.

Reki hopped, dragging his leg to the side. It was painful. He opened the back door and ushered his sister's inside, his mother completely ignoring them.

He could only get to his sister's room before he collapsed from exhaustion, clumsily falling into the wall and sliding down to the floor. The twins were sat next to eachother silently. His other sister sat down next to him and swept his stray bangs underneath his headband.

The cast was heavy and sweaty. He breathed in deeply, trying to keep himself from crying in front of his sister's. He needed to be strong, for them and for himself.

If he started crying he wasn't sure if he would be able to stop.

Everything felt hopeless. He couldnt move around the house let alone get to work and school. Langa wouldn't text him back. Everything had changed. Everything was different. He was completely stuck in this hell hole with no ladder out.