terminal curiosity

sleeping dogs lie (finale)

"Okay. Okay, Omi.... okay ."

When Atsumu looks back later, the whole memory will feel half like a dream. Sakusa is kneeling beside him, fingers in his hair, telling Atsumu he wants to stay, letting out a nearly shocked huff of relief at Atsumu's response.

"Oh. Okay. Good," Sakusa says. "Good."

There are things that make Atsumu realize that this is reality, help him pin it to the earth. There is a pile of dirty tissues on his nightstand. His skin feels tacky with nearly two days of sleep-sweat and his face feels downright grimy. Sakusa is sporting a progressively more pinched expression as the silence stretches out and transitions from comforting to awkward.

No, this is real.

Sakusa shifts uncomfortably where he's kneeling by Atsumu's bed. How mortifying. Atsumu pushes himself up on one arm, to at least give himself the dignity of sitting upright.

"Um... what now?" he asks.

Sakusa's brow furrows, "I take it... you don't want to go on a date right now..."

Atsumu sputters. "No, Omi-kun, I don't wanna go out in the middle of a fuckin' drop!"

His eyes well up as if to make his point extra clear.

That seems to reorient Sakusa at least. He pushes himself up to his feet and brushes the nonexistent dust off his knees.

"Right. My suggestion would be to focus on that," he says, holding out a hand to help Atsumu up. "I thought, since missing aftercare probably was a big factor in kicking off the drop, going through a version of our usual routine might help."

Atsumu hums, a little wobbly as he gets to his feet, "Uh, okay... if you think it'll help. I'm not keepin' ya from anything, right?"

It makes one of those familiar lashes of shame lick up his insides. He sure is... imposing. In, like, every way. His face burns.

"Atsumu. It's our day off. I was going to read the new book on load management that Coach has been pushing, which I can just as easily do on the bus on Thursday."

Atsumu relaxes a little. The clarity is... appreciated.

Sakusa continues, "If you want, you could start with a shower. The hot water and the steam might be refreshing after crying."

Atsumu rolls his eyes as he furtively gathers up his dirty tissues to throw them away. He tries not to get distracted by the other clutter.

"You can say I'm gross, Omi-Omi," Atsumu says, going for a tease and getting closer. "You being too nice is just weird."

Sakusa is picking up his duffle from the floor, rifling through the pockets to recover what Atsumu now notices is a box of jasmine tea, the kind he'd developed a habit of drinking at Sakusa's.

"That was a genuine suggestion. Your current state doesn't bother me," he says and then shoots Atsumu a sly glance. "I've seen you much messier than this before."

He's also said much dirtier things than that to Atsumu, but in his current, vulnerable state, it easily sends a flush right up to his hairline.

"I'm going to shower now," he says and quickly heads towards the bathroom.

Unsurprisingly, Sakusa is correct that the shower feels good. Atsumu isn't sure exactly how long he lets the hot water pour over his head, across his tender, cry-sore eyelids. He loses count of the number of tired but contented sighs that leave his steam-filled lungs. By the time Atsumu steps out onto the bathmat, he even feels vaguely human again—still close to tears, but in less of a desolate and more of a 'watch your favorite movie and cry a bit' way.