Lost and Found

Finding Home

The cool breeze blows through my hair as I sit on the windowsill, watching the city wake up below me. I need to remember what this feels like.

But eventually, I glance at the time and snap back into reality; only ten minutes before I have to leave, and I still have to say goodbye to Mum. As I stand in the middle of my empty room, memories flood my mind. This room has been my sanctuary, filled with laughter, tears, and dreams for as long as I can remember. It feels surreal to know that tonight I'll be sleeping somewhere else, leaving behind the familiar comforts of home for the adventure of university life.

 I wonder what my new room will look like and if I'll be able to sleep well in a bed that isn't mine, especially since I have to share my space with a total stranger whom I hope will be nice. I want to take everything with me to make my new room feel as close to this one as possible, as each item holds so many precious memories; but unfortunately, taking only two suitcases means I can't fit everything in.

Just as I knew she would be, Mum's waiting by the door, biting her thumbnail and staring at the floor when I eventually reach the bottom of the stairs, my suitcase thudding loudly down each step behind me.

"The taxi's outside, mum," I place a gentle hand on her shoulder, and very much like mother, like daughter, she also snaps back into reality.

She looks at me adoringly and says, "Bye, Miyah."

I can tell she's trying to hold back tears but happy or sad I can't tell. I wrap my arms around her, and it feels like one of her 'mummy bear hugs' from when I was younger, where I used to bury myself in her embrace, finding comfort every time. I make a mental note of how it feels for when I might need it.

She helps me load my suitcases into the taxi, gives me one last hug, and waves me off as the taxi drives away.

It'll only be a few months until I see her again at Christmas. However, since there's no one else at home for her, I feel guilty for leaving her there alone, even if it was her idea to help me apply to a university two hundred miles away. She always wants what's best for me, especially to do with my education and especially after dad died last year, but I know she's going to find it hard all by herself, so I need to make the biggest effort to call and text and keep her as involved in what I'm doing as possible.

My dad's passing had some sort of effect on my life that I can't quite describe but can strongly feel. It's made me look at what I'm doing in more detail, how I'm living, and comparing it to how I want to live. I want to seize life as it comes, say yes to more opportunities, and I believe this is what inspired my mum to suggest Spring Hill in the first place. I want to go somewhere different, see new sights, meet new people. But I want to do it according to my tastes and instincts, and just go for it, take the leap, and I know that Mum's behind me every step of the way.

                                        *

It takes four hours to get to Spring Hill, but I'm not the least bit bored or tired at any point in the journey. Most of the time, I spend looking out the window and biting my fingernails because, believe it or not, I'm incredibly nervous, and like any other eighteen-year-old, I want my first impression to be a good one and to try not to make a fool of myself. 

Spring Hill is the first ever university boarding school in the UK, and I am so privileged to have been accepted on a scholarship. It's more or less the same as a boarding school, but designed for older students at the university level. We still get degrees at the end and more if we choose to do so. It's just like one big student accommodation but with the classrooms downstairs. We all sleep, eat, learn and relax in the same building, and a big one at that.