Let's Shine (English version)

Chapiter 6 : Show must go on

At the beginning of January, she went out in the middle of the day to get something to eat but no one saw her. In a fortnight she had lost weight, her blue eyes had lost their sparkle and were surrounded by deep dark circles. She heard the voices of her friends in one of the studios and sighed, how could they dance and sing without him. She had collected some boxes and tidied up the whole room. In the bedroom she made up her mind. She had to talk to them, about everything. She arranged to meet them in their dance studio the next day. They were all surprised to hear from her. She sent the same message to So-Bam and Young, she needed support.

For the first time in a fortnight, she changed out of her baggy clothes into a Pierre and a t-shirt that showed off her new mother's shape. Her belly was starting to show and she had grown a little. But only a trained eye could see that. For fear that they would see right away, she put on a jogging jacket. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and went downstairs. As she had expected, Eui-Soo was there too, as was Soki. The whole family and for once all on time. When they saw her arrive, they wanted to go and help her but she waved them off, finally giving them a black look. They looked at her and were afraid. They would not have recognised her. Seeing their loving faces brought tears to her eyes. She had to tell them the news and her decision.

- Hello guys," she said with a smile.

She got into seiza, too tired to stand. They sat down facing her, but the formality of her position worried them a little more.

- Meena, are you okay?" Key asked, looking worried.

So-Bam elbowed her in the ribs to let him know that his question was silly.

- I didn't come here to chat," she said in a serious tone. I just came to tell you two pieces of news.

Her serious tone made them shiver. Even Young was frightened, he had known her for much longer and he had never seen her so serious and closed. Her blue eyes no longer sparkled, it was worrying.

- It was supposed to be happy news and I should have told you and Jongie. But life decided otherwise.

So-Bam understood and looked at her with round eyes, she wanted to tell them like this...

- It turns out that in early December, after doing some tests, I found out that I was going to become a mother. I was going to tell him but he took his own life first.

She swallowed to hold back her tears.

- I decided to keep the baby the day I found out.

She smiled a little, but it disappeared again under a serious mask. Then she stood up and walked towards Eui-Soo and Soki and handed them a letter and bowed.

- Thank you for believing in me and pushing me. But I can't do it anymore, the desire to dance and sing is gone. It disappeared the day she died. So I decide to leave the SM, I will find a job, go and live in the family house and find a job.

Eui-Soo looked at her and replied:

- Meena don't take this decision lightly, you are an important person for the boys and for the society. And they need you. The Kim family has approved of the last tour being done in his memory

- I can't dance," she says, crying. I can't do it, I can't, it won't come. My body is blocked.

Then she took the time to analyse the sentence and turned back to So-Bam and the boys, her eyes filled with tears and disappointment.

- Are you really going to go back on stage now? Without him, without taking time to grieve?

- Meena," Key intervened.