Easy Silence

13.

"We need to talk."

Meredith was pretty sure she was going crazy or something. Because when he had first been wheeled in there had definitely been a plan that had something to do with never going to see him. Which was fine, except it hadn't lasted a day. Which was probably okay, except for he had held her hand and his friends had all known all about her. And then she had kissed him. She was definitely going insane. Of course, just in case she wasn't quite sure she was now standing in his room, looking at him in his bed, after she had spent the last hour, an hour in which she could have gone home, pacing outside his room.

"We do," he smirked.

"You can't do that," she snapped. She probably shouldn't have snapped but she was going insane, she was allowed to be little out of her element here.

"Can't do what?" he frowned.

"Smirk like that," Meredith frowned. "I'm here and I'm doing the talking thing and I don't know even why I'm doing the talking thing. It's actually insane but I'm doing it so no smirking."

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "Talking and no smirking, understood."

"Good."

Silence over took the room as he watched her carefully and she watched her hands, or the floor or anything in the room that wasn't him.

"Talking usually involves talking, Mer."

"I'm...I'm working up to that," she sighed and then took a deep breath, suddenly letting her eyes rest on him. "I kissed you."

"You kissed me."

"I didn't mean to kiss you," she frowned. "I was, I mean, I've thought about kissing you. Before, I've thought about kissing you. A lot. Not I mean, not kissing you a lot, I've just...lots of thinking about kissing you, but I didn't mean to. I wasn't going to kiss you. I really...I wasn't. That was..."

"Amazing?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. And then her eyes widened and she quickly shook her head no. "No, I didn't...I didn't mean that, I mean...I did. Because it was amazing but I didn't mean to say that, which probably doesn't explain why I just said it again, except it was, it definitely was. The kiss was kind of...it was, it was really good, I didn't think, I didn't expect it to be that good. And I'm rambling. I wish someone would tell me to shut up."

"Why?" Derek laughed softly.

"No laughing."

"You didn't say no laughing," he frowned slightly.

"I meant to say no laughing, I definitely meant to," she nodded. "Because it's all...it's a good laugh. It's a nice laugh and if you laugh I'm going to forget what I came here to say and I need to...I need to...because...you...and me...kissed and now...talk."

"Come here," Derek sighed, suddenly reaching his hand out.

"What?"

"Come here," he repeated. "Or I'll just go there, which given all my injuries, you should probably take pity on me and come here."

"Why?" she frowned as she took some slow steps toward his bed.

"Because you're clearly having some sort of meltdown and I'm kind of worried you're going to stop breathing and pass out and I definitely wouldn't get there to catch you. I'm not even sure I could get myself down that low without my back giving out."

"I'm not going to pass out," Meredith rolled her eyes, even as she let him grab her hand and pull her onto his bed.

"Meredith...breathe."