The Raven || Harry Styles AU

Talking to the Moon

Chapter 1

Harry's POV

My neighbors think I am crazy; I agree. They believe that I am dangerous; I believe I am also. I am destructive they say, a menace. My parents had given up on me from therapy to journal writing, yet my feelings are so muffled up in my head, that I know there are no words to express what is lodged in my skull. My life is not bad at all, yet I feel so melancholy inside like I am being possessed by a lonesome spirit feeding off of my aching heart.

Even so, no exorcism could rid me of this feeling of torment. As wherever I go, I am haunted, when I am happy it rains, but when I am sad it snows. So unusual I know, but the softness from each snowflake would gracefully land on my hair and burn through my scalp. Reminding me, that anything beautiful is the key to all agony. I look up through my window as I release a strained breath, knowing that no one could understand where I am coming from, no one could comprehend my words but something, something out there can, the moon. I sit alone talking to the moon, delving into a conversation with it as though it is really talking back to me. But it isn't so, I am a sorry excuse for a man who still requires the protection of his parents.

About a year ago, we had a talk, hoping that it was possible living on my own. To be disappointed when they handed me a cage. What was inside confused me, wondering why this black feathery creature was staring at me the same way I seem to be looking at it.

"It is a raven, ravens signify protection Harry, a high responsibility for you but it would be there for you, always." My mother gave me a reassuring smile like she just told me that this is my new sibling; that we would take care of one another always until the end of our lives.

Oh always was correct, every turn I would take the bird was there, piercing through my shredded up soul attempting to figure out the unknown. I had once thought about giving the bird a chance, maybe a friend is what I needed, what I deserved. But now all it does is mock me. Reminding me that I am trapped underneath its glare and there is no escape for me. I could not sleep without having it speculate my every breath.

The very first day I brought the bird into my room the vibe the bird gave off was skeptical. Almost as if we've met before or some familiar circumstance brought us together by fate. In which, having a friend, in the end, was accepted by me. It began as an intense listener. Always up for a conversation, even though I received no response, I knew it understood. Now our relationship is estranged. I barely glance at it, for I knew I was already the center of its attention. I used to call it Kole. Kole was a dear friend of mine who has left me. She was close to me but just like magic she was gone. Which I am glad, not because she was an annoyance, but because she was good, too good for this. Just as Kole had left so suddenly, so did the warmth of The Raven.

It was then I realized my parents bought me this vile warden to leave me prisoner as the people walking around attempts to drag me by the ear out of their utopia. As if I am what makes them fall apart as they plaster smiles on their faces. I am the reality, they are figments of something imaginary. They know they are but they refuse to grab my hand from the side of the cliff trying to help them down along side me before they go jumping into the heart of a volcano. I know it is too late, my reputation is too strained for me to show my tainted face in public. Everyone has already reached their bridge of insanity, that me being sane makes me the breathing madman.

I wonder if in my battered heart I am sane? Or am I really trapped in a web of denial? But I cannot blame this feeling on the people around me, it was Kole who I know dangled the key between her fingers and soon watched it fall down the drain beneath her toes. She left me trapped, trapped in lies while being fed temptations to throw up guilt while the hatred still lies in the pit of my stomach. I am left here to rot, for my soul to wither. I'm sore, my heart is filled with lead. But why so? My body aches as I am stuck here, in my thoughts. I cannot figure out what else to write besides the feeling of thorns clawing at my back. I cannot stop the pain, I cannot forget the taste of death, the iron bitter yet sweet taste stained onto the tip of my tongue. I had put myself into this position, I fell for her lies when she told me she would catch me before it is too late. But once again I have been played. Blinded by false love, now drowning is the outcome of this all. And now she has disappeared.

I hate to say that I do not regret what has happened, even though my days had become a death wish as this curse encases me, I do not wish to leave. Why try to escape when there is nothing out there for you. My face hardens like the stone. I am accustomed to this now, just sitting here on a warn out sofa; looking through the foggy window of this fading house.

I run through my damp curls as I rest my head against the headrest of the sofa. I pick at the loose strands protruding from the gray fabric while I finished conversing with the moon. Which at this point seems to be the only thing I do best.

~~~~~

I would like to dedicate this chapter to silhouette_styles because she's just great :)

Thank you for all that read. Comment, vote or even message me. I have no life so yeah! Lots of love. 💙

- D.K❤️