Crumbs of Tender Love

Citrusy Confessions

NOTE: This is not a short story at all. This is just something I wrote after I got my heart broken for being in love for the very first time. I hope you guys would appreciate my effort. Your opinion is always welcome.

171,146 — a big number. wondering why I, out of the infinitely broad spectrum of numbers that exist in this universe, chose this particular figure? well, according to BBC, this actually represents the number of words currently in use in the English language. All these words coming out to be unique in interpretation and having entirely different translations in the 7100 languages spoken worldwide whatsoever(I reckon i have used too many figures). 

They say language divides us. But there has to be something that brings us together — something that defines our categorization as the sapiens. What exactly is it? Is it our instinct to survive on this ball of mud and lava? Is it the electrochemical signals sent by the brain which make us perform the same reflexes? Is it the set of beliefs and ideas that comes with labels like that of religions and ethnicities? Or maybe, just maybe it's the heart that overlooks all the differences and pumps blood no matter the circumstances? but is the function of the heart so trivial? Do all the poets and writers just celebrate the power of the heart for nothing? Well, for a hopeless romantic like me, I certainly wouldn't go against all these literary heroes because the heart is what keeps us going. The LOVE the heart gives out is actually the reason we feel warm and contented. Not merely a 4-letter word it is as it can bring even the mightiest of the kings to his knees, can take you over the moon and also to the darkest pits of gloom. 

LOVE — a powerful feeling that motivates us to overcome challenges but can also throw us into a plethora of problems. But we all are love-deprived and our craving for love despite knowing how hurtful it can get is beyond my wisdom. Recently, I fell in love. As weird as it may sound but yes, I completely illogically accidentally madly overwhelmingly fell in love with a person who was too good for me. I'd always wanted to experience it because I grew up fascinated with the idea of someone ruling your heart and your mind and how you function and almost everything. 

They say love transcends all standards but deep down you know your beloved deserves the best, they deserve the moon and all the stars and the whole world. I might sound like a crazy obsessive fangirl but they are the nicest person to have ever lived on the face of the earth. I thought loving someone was easy. To be loved is easy but to love oh boy not easy-peasy lemon squeezy because you realise squeezing lemons is one of the hardest tasks to exist. 

On another note, love could be compared to squeezing lemons, soft lemons — two-sided love, tough lemons — one-sided love. but sometimes(and yes not always) you can soften the lemons by squeezing lemons and just like that you can make someone fall in love with you. Your eyes burn when you get that citrusy liquid in them but there's no fun in that. The same goes for love. 

Love hurts. It hurts more when you know the other person deserves much better. It hurts even more when you are too scared to let your feelings out. Love is supposed to make you courageous. But it's not the love that stops you from confessing — it's the fear of never having to talk to them again. 

Love also makes you do strange stuff. All the stuff that made you go eww now makes you go all awww. You become biased and obsess over them like it's the end of the world. Like someone please tell them it's illegal to look this cute. They make you smile like an idiot and even if you are a forgetful mess, you tend to remember teensy-weensy details about them. For me, my first love isn't the gives-you-butterflies type of love, I'd say it's more of a gives-you-homey-vibes kind of love — something that makes you want to go back again and again — something that makes you feel seen and valued.

That person making you happy is considerable but the real story starts when they make you want to cry at night and the funny thing is they're completely unaware. knowing they love someone else and would never see you in that light tightens your chest and a feeling of sadness washes over you because just like everyone you deserve to be loved as well because even the thorns demand care to grow. So, sweetheart, it's ok, wishes didn't come true in this life. it's ok to let your heart crumble. and maybe, just maybe it's ok to have the false hope that they like you back. And even if they don't just know that — "if wishes came true, you'd love me too"

P.S. guys I am really sorry about the weird cover and the picture. But I had a sudden surge of productivity and I wanted to do something I have been passionate about for years. So, the cover was a very short notice. I am learning photoshop and hopefully I'll end up making a cute cover for this book. I hope you'd bare with me. 

P.S. The sentence "if wishes came true, you'd love me too" is not mine. I read this on the internet way back and now I cant remember whose was it so I am just letting you know.

Bye-bye lovelies. Till next time.