Belladonna Eclipse

4) A Fragile Thing

"Don't push away what you can't understand, that's the best way to end up lonely."

***

He heard the expected knock on his door, he knew it was coming. Suppose that's what family is for: making you miserable. He really didn't feel like dealing with them, he knew what he needed to do and there was no way he was going to change his mind; he couldn't stay here, where she was, and where she is no longer.

It was time he stopped denying it—she went to Hell, left him, and isn't coming back. And that hurt like a bitch didn't it. "Demi, not now."

The knock comes again. "Demi, I said not now!"

This time there was no knock. The door just opened. Gemini turned, prepared to force Demi back out, not in the mood for anyone. Except whom is at the door—dammit! He's taken up talking like her. Of course. "Ambrose? What's up, man? You okay—you look like crap."

Ambrose all but slams the door shut and winces before pacing lines across Gemini's floor, a hundred different emotions, peace not being one of them. "Bro, is there something I should be concerned about? Are you in danger?" He had to ask. Last time he didn't, and we see where that got him. "Brose?—"

"I slept with Jaxin." Woah. Hold up. What?

"What? Really? Congrats man, finally lost your—"

"This isn't good Gemini! We had some kind of bonding thing last night and then I asked him to come over and he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and then we...yeah. Neither of us knew if it meant anything and then I wake up and he's gone. He's terrified of me leaving or not wanting him here and he made me promise it wouldn't change things between us; I don't know what to do. I freaked him out and now he's not going to come back. What do I do?" Ambrose rushes, panic in his green eyes. He looked like he was on the brink of falling to his knees and signing up for the fertilizer position in the Highrise garden; yeah he was losing it.

"Do you like him?"

"No."

"Did you like being with him?"

"Sexually?"

"Yes."

"No." Lie. It was clear in his eyes.

"Ambrose, it's me you're talking to. You don't have to hide anything from me, it's not bad if you liked it. I know you care for him, y'all are close and you bonded; as he said, don't let it ruin your friendship. He probably got hungry; I don't think he would leave the morning after. Ambrose calm down, he's your first time right?"

Ambrose nods. "I don't know how this happened; he's probably disgusted—hell I'm disgusted with myself. I jeopardized everything because of my body; he said he wanted it and some part of me wanted it too. What have I done? What if he regrets it? Regrets me? I don't think I can handle that Gemini; you're leaving."

"Look man, my girl is gone, he is still here. Whatever it is between you, you still have someone for that—me? I have to hold her pillow that her scent is fading from, I won't ever hold her in my arms again, I don't get to kiss her again. Hell, I don't get to have sex because there will be no one but her. What I'm saying is, don't let him walk away or assume, even if it doesn't work between you two, at least you have closure. There is nothing more I regret than pushing her to leave; don't push away what you can't understand, that's the best way to end up lonely." He sees the guilt slipping into Ambrose's eyes, Gemini didn't say that to make him feel bad, he said it to prevent Ambrose from making the same mistakes he did. "Wait, can't you read his mind?"