Where Do I Begin. ( HxH - Reader Insert )

.:2:.

The rising sun did nothing to block out the bitter cold.

Rain continued to pour throughout the night and you were helpless to do anything but watch. Huddled under the wooden shelter the bulletin board provided, knees tucked against your chest , this night was longer than any other you had experienced. Even as the stalls packed up and the locals headed home for the evening not one of them came to check up on you, no matter how many pitiful glances or hushed whispers were spared in your direction.

You realised how you must look, hair dried in a tangled frenzy, skin pallid from the cold and heavy dark circles under your eyes from the sleepless night. If a child looked at you and screamed you probably wouldn't blame them, in fact, if you saw yourself you might just scream too. This wasn't the person you remembered, where were the rosy cheeks and doe eyes? Where were the crinkles at the corners of your eyes and the wrinkle on your nose?

All of that died along with your parents.

Maybe, if your humour were up to scratch, you might remark that this was just the tragic backstory to your epic character arc. But it didn't matter how great of a person you might turn out to be in the end, it didn't matter how many good deeds you might do along the way, you would take it all back for a chance to be with your parents again.

No, no don't think about that, don't think about them. Your body was too exhausted to cry any longer.

Your eyes never closed longer than a second, you refused to give yourself even a moment of rest. Maybe it was a way of punishing yourself, for what? You didn't know.

For a while your mind was blank, even as the ship appeared like a speck on the horizon your body didn't move. What were you even getting yourself into? It's not as though you were some sort of karate master, you had never fought a day in your life. Wasn't that what being a Hunter entailed? The stories the old ladies down the block used to tell you always included the violence that came along with the profession, they spoke of how they fought, how they plundered and overtook cities by the handful.

Were you really up for that?

Deliberation was useless to you. What other choice did you have? You had no home to return to, certainly not the one you had left behind, you couldn't imagine stepping foot back into that building ever again.

It was with a heavy shiver that you snapped back into reality, the blaring horn of the approaching ship sending prickles of anxiety through your skin. The ship would be docked for a few hours at least, you had time to think about your choice logically, but what was there left to question?

Pushing yourself to your feet a shock of pain shot up your spine, crouched in that position for so long wasn't a good move for your fatigued body. But you pushed through the pain, eyes set on the approaching ship with a flurrying mix of determination and rage seeping through your veins. You couldn't say where this amalgamation of fury had come from, when you thought back to the events of the previous day, when you pondered on the feelings that you had so eagerly pushed down - there you found it.

Pure, unadulterated anger simmered beneath the layers of sadness and grief. Anger at yourself for not protecting them, anger at the people that had done this, but more than anything- anger at the fact you knew nothing that you could've done would've been enough to save them. You were weak, you had always been weak and if you didn't go for this then weak was all you were ever going to be.

Through the pain of your creaking bones and your stiffened muscles you continued to walk, through the tourists that glanced at you warily, through the shame of the pity that was thrown at you all over again.

Ignore it. Raise your chin and bear it. Don't smear your family name.

Face impassive to the obvious stares thrown your way, you made your way to the pier silently and marched all the way to the end of the dock. Unmoving, you stared as the ship approached, unflinching even as ropes were thrown to the floor at your feet and sailors were spilling over the edge to tie the ship into place. They stared at you in a mix of confusion and wariness but continued on their business, a sloping plank dropping onto the wooden pier with a loud 'clank' so passengers could board and exit the ship as they pleased.