The notebook of a flarus boy

What's next?

AUTHOR'S POV

A FEW DAYS LATER....

The last few days really have been rough for Thomas. After reading Newt's last words, he completely lost it. He cried for about a day. And it was really serious. He was in a serious pain. And still is.

With the strength he had left, he gathered his thing and slowly walked back to the safe heaven. Each step taken was even more painful than the last. When he finally reached the safe heaven, Minho was waiting for him, preparing a backpack. He was preparing himself to get get Thomas. He looked very worried. The truth is, Newt's death really affected Minho too. And he didn't know if he could make it without his leader, his best friend, his brother, now gone too.

So when he saw Thomas, a relieving look appeared in his face, but not for long because he saw how much destroyed Thomas was.

Thomas threw himself in Minho's arms, crying loudly. Minho then knew he read the whole thing. And Minho will understand later when he will read it why Thomas is so broken over this. His cries attracted the others who were also very worried for him.

Thomas would never be the same. Reading Newt's last words, it was like loosing him all over again. It was like watching him helplessness throwing a knife in his own chest. But now, what was even more painful than the first time, is knowing that he loved him and he never acted on it because all this time he thought he was in love with Teresa.

Minho was so worried. He never saw him this low. His cries were different. It was like he was scared, that he was in so much pain that he was actually dying. So Minho just closed his eyes, holding him as warmly and tightly as he could and hoped that he would come around and calm down. He did, but only few hours later.

Since then, Minho never left his sight. When that happened to Newt, and he wasn't able to stop him from killing himself, he always blamed himself for it. But now, he has a chance to do good and look out for Thomas. To not let him do what Newt did and saving his life. Helping him be happy again. Just like what Newt would have wanted.

Minho even moved in Thomas' cabin. He installed little wooden bed in Thomas' cabin so he could be always with him. And it was a good thing because every night, Thomas would wake up many times in the night, screaming and crying, saying Newt's name and even searching for him when he was really confused and still sleepy. Then Minho would come and embrace him, telling him that everything was okay, that he was there for him. It really broke Minho's heart to see him like that. When he was comforting him, he always wondered if Newt could see this. If Newt could only know how much his absence is killing Thomas and is making this whole place a lot more sadder. How much Thomas and him just miss him.

But hopefully for Minho, things with Thomas started to get better as the days went by. Thomas knew that no matter how much he would want Newt to come back, he won't. He is dead and nothing can bring him back to life. His body have been eaten by crows by now.

His beautiful body, his beautiful blond face, and those majestic eyes that he would never have the chance to stare into again. And his melodious laugh and his jokes that he would never had the chance to hear again.

Like Newt said in his letter, he has to focus on the futur and what he has here. He would meet Newt again one day. But for now, he needs to keep himself busy so the time flies by quicker.

So he helped Vince and Minho with the organization of the Safe Heaven, they created jobs just like they did in the glade and everyone was busy. And in the night, everyone gathered around the fire and tried to have a good time.

They also created expeditions, so people could take some boats and go find some food and supplies to bring back to the safe heaven.

They also created a garden. And Thomas especially obligated that this garden will be named after Newt's name because after the accident, gardening became Newt's whole world and he once told him that he would have loved to do gardening again in the place they would go after escaping the maze. And since he didn't make it through the Safe Heaven, Thomas decided that he at least deserved this. For everyone to remember him and for those who would arrive after to learn Newt's story.

In fact, it surprised everyone when Thomas announced that he wouldn't lead the expeditions to the last city. Thomas was their leader and he always showed them that he was strong and brave, that he loved the adventure and helping everyone to survive this "bloody" virus as Newt would say.

But the truth is, Thomas has changed. Since the blond wasn't by his side anymore, he district have the strength to do that. If he did bring everyone here to the safe heaven, it was because Newt always pushed him, always believed in him. He always knew the right thing to say. He was his rock. So without that rock to support him, Thomas was just hopeless.

He then started his new job: gardening. Because he knew that it was a work that  Newt used to love and it's also the work he was doing when they were starting to know each other. Working in that garden, it made Thomas feel closer to Newt. Even sometimes, Thomas would talk while gardening, like if Newt could really hear him.

Every evening, when the sun gets low, and the sun rises in the morning, Thomas is near the ocean on that sandy beach, holding Newt's letter in his hand and looking at the horizon. Looking at the sea and the sun rising up makes him feel like it's a message that Newt is sending him from heaven, to make him don't loose hope. Just like he did when he was there with him. It makes him feel like that the day that is coming is going to be good and toward the darkness of his absence, that little thing made him hold on and keep himself going.

Thomas never read a second time the notebook. It was too painful to handle. Minho read it after him and the others too. And now Brenda is keeping it now in the med cabin. Since she is the new nurse now, she needs to know everything that Newt went through to help others.

The only thing he kept reading was the letter. Because Newt only wrote good things and he wanted to remember him that way. Not the time he became a crank and killed himself in front of him. The letter reminded him of the Newt he fell in love with, the one always smiling and always helping the others while being incredibly selfless.

Thomas sadly chuckled at that thought. He even got in a fight with him once because of that. He wanted him to be less selfless, to be happy. But being selfless was the way Newt found to be happy, and Thomas realized that later.

The pain never eased for Thomas. The images of that night and neither of his nightmares went away. He just learned to live with it. And as the years passed, it became less and less painful. He was working hard and always keeping himself busy to keep his mind occupied. He never loved someone again.

And then, one day, after many, many years, he found his soulmate again, who was waiting for him in heaven. And they would finally be reunited again to finally tell each other what they couldn't when they were alive.

And soon enough after that, Minho joined them so they could be again the golden trio that they once were.

THE END

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Hey guys!

Yeah already finish! I know this story isn't long but I am going to explain why in the next chapter, the author's note.

I really hope you enjoyed that short book and don't worry a big book is coming this summer ;) another Newtmas long book! I am working on it right now and I can't wait to see your reactions;)