What they could have been

Chapter 4

Ashar was sorting files in his office when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

A man in a grey suit entered. "Sir, something happened yesterday. A couple was robbed as they were walking home."

"Where did this happen?"

"In the forest. They said there were two men and two women."

"Are they okay?"

"Shaken by the event, but thankfully no injuries."

"Hmm. Send out a group to monitor the forest and another to patrol the streets. We have to keep the people safe. Two people is already two too many."

"Yes Sir."

"Thank you. Dismissed."

The man nodded then left the room. Ashar went to see his father, the gears in his mind turning, trying to figure out his next move.

***

The bell chimed as Hadarah entered the café, the sound of people chatting and children giggling filling her ears as she made her way to the front.

"Good afternoon, Anwyll."

Anwyll finished placing a slice of red velvet cake on a plate, then turned to face her. He was smiling cheerily.

"Good afternoon! Haven't seen you in a while."

"I was at the castle."

"The castle? How did it go?"

"Fine, I guess."

Anwyll's expression became serious as he studied her closely. He was a few years older than Hadarah, with red hair, green eyes and freckles dotting his face. Over the years, they had formed a close friendship. "How are you?"

"Fine." Hadarah looked at the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"Okay. Now tell me truthfully. How are you really?"

"Confused."

"Want to talk about it?"

Hadarah nodded.

He signalled to a girl to come over. "Please handle the till. I need to go since something's come up. Tell Dylan to close up this evening."

"Yes, Boss."

Anwyll then came around the counter and nodded to the door. "Come on."

They left the café and went to Anwyll's house. He took her to the sitting room and they settled on the sofa.

"So... what's got you so confused?"

Hadarah took a moment to collect her thoughts. "How are you meant to act around someone you haven't seen in seven years? And you used to be really close but now it's just awkward." She paused, sighing. "It's like walking on thin ice; one wrong step and you'll fall under. I don't know what I'm meant to say to him. He hardly spoke to me either. There was so much tension. My mind goes crazy if I think about him so I try not to. And for goodness' sake! Why does he keep staring at me? It makes me feel so nervous. That last night... he wanted to say something. I'm sure of it. But he didn't say it. I just... Anwyll please tell me. What am I supposed to do?" She looked at him, tears in her eyes.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, his lips curving up into a small, sad smile.

"If he just sincerely apologised, I would forgive him. I don't know what I did to make him push me away. He became so distant and cold and cruel. Did he really hate me that much that he couldn't even look at me? Was I so despicable? We were sixteen, Anwyll. Sixteen. It's been seven years. Not once did he write to me. It's like I didn't exist to him anymore." A tear rolled down her cheeks.

Anwyll gently wiped it away. "Hey, listen to me. You're not despicable. Don't think so low of yourself. His poor treatment towards you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. We don't know why people do the things they do. Sometimes it's justifiable and sometimes it isn't. I won't tell you what you should or shouldn't do because that's down to you. Take your time. There's no rush. You're not obligated to do anything. But please, whatever you do, be careful. I don't want you to get hurt again."

Hadarah chuckled dryly. "I don't think he can hurt me more than he already has. I mean, how do you break what is already broken?"

"Broken things can be fixed Hadarah."

"Then why do I still feel pain?" she asked, her voice cracking. "Why does it hurt every time someone mentions him? Why haven't I been able to move on?" A lump formed in her throat as more tears fell.

Anwyll remained silent, knowing the questions were rhetorical.

"Why do I still love him?" she whispered, releasing seven years of pain in her tears.

Anwyll hugged Hadarah tightly as she cried, running his fingers soothingly through her hair as he tried to calm her. He held her until she fell asleep and then carried her to the spare bedroom. He placed her on the bed and pulled the duvet over her. As he walked down the stairs, he wondered how anyone could hurt her. She was so innocent, gentle and kind. His heart hurt for his friend as he thought about how much she had been silently suffering. How many times had she put up a mask so no one worried about her? How many of her smiles were genuine? Anwyll let out a long sigh, hoping that a day would come where she'd never have to hide her true feelings ever again.

***

The next morning, Hadarah woke up to the smell of coffee and pancakes. After freshening up, she descended the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. She watched Anwyll as he expertly flipped a pancake.

"I'll never understand how you do that so easily," she said, fascination in her voice.

Anwyll chuckled, turning to face her. "It's all in the wrist." He passed her a plate stacked with pancakes as she sat at the table.

Hadarah waited for him to join her before she began eating.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he dug into his breakfast.

"A lot better than yesterday," she smiled, then looked at him sincerely. "Thank you, for everything."

He grinned. "No worries, that's what friends are for."