The Last on the List [completed]

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I couldn't control the bleeding.

Nilabas ko na sa cabinet ang pinakamakapal kong puting tuwalya, sat on it on the floor of the restroom yet the sink was still drinking my blood. Para tuloy akong bumalik sa pag-upo doon sa airconditioned na bus, but besides trembling from cold, I was also having beaded sweat and tears. Hindi gumana sa'kin ang deep breathing. It could have if this thought was not stomped on by the other thoughts running on my mind – thoughts like it's only a matter of time before I die, that I failed Dylan for not keeping up until his last item, and worse, that Dylan would blame himself for triggering the bleeding.

I did my best to will my body not to tear when Dylan was making love to me. Gusto ko mabigyan siya ng unforgettable night dahil sabi niya this was important. And thankfully, nakisama ang katawan ko. If only for a moment.

What happened to me was what would happen if a person was being hunted by an oncoming killer until his brain summoned his body to do the impossible, say, ang buhatin ang two-door ref at iharang 'to sa daan when on normal occasion he couldn't. For a while he felt invincible, pero soon after, saka niya mararamdaman 'yong consequence ng ginawa niya. In his case a sore and torn muscles; in my case, a continuous blood flow.

I didn't want to stain Dylan's bed, or his house for that matter, so I took a cab hoping the driver had forgotten my face when he'd check the backseat at nag-jog on my way to my unit. Did I consider going to the hospital? Yes, but that's the last place I wanted to go.

I thought this was just like when my nose bled na ilang minuto lang, eh, hihinto na. But two towels and one bed sheet soaked in blood later, mali ako ng akala. After all, who would have thought I would bleed? I was expecting I'd be going home safe and still a virgin.

Kinuha ko sa drawer ang gamot. One of the things I hated about medicine was that you have to wait for some time for it to take effect. Pero kahit gano'n, tonight, I was extra desperate to make my blood clot quickly to the point na dinalawa ko ang intake. I was only advised to take one but if I couldn't stop the bleeding I might be dead before dawn.

I wasn't scared to die. Matagal na akong c-in-ounsel ng doctor about the possibility, even gave me reminder, but more like a last warning really, to be careful not to bleed. And that's after the incident with my tattoo na dalawang linggo bago gumaling. But now what I was scared for was to die without completing Dylan's bucket list and without him knowing how I really feel.

Yet speaking of feeling, tonight, I felt utterly drained, and numb, and about to pass out. And I knew I did. When I blinked to adjust my vision, hindi na ako nakasalampak sa banyo. I was in the hospital bed, wearing a blue patient dress and a sorry expression seeing Dylan's tear dried face looking back at me. He was sitting on my left, pressing my hand, probably beckoning me to wake up. I was surprised to see him here.

Hinagilap ko ang orasan. Nine o'clock. "Good mor –"

"Please tell me this is just a prank."

I almost felt like Dylan wanted me to tell a lie. But if he wasn't ready for the truth then I'd rather not tell at all. "Ano ng next item sa bucket –"

"Fuck bucket list! Na-admit ka na sa hospital and yet 'yong putang inang bucket list pa rin ang iniintindi mo?"

Napatingin ako sa mga kamay kong may suero. "But that's what I really wanted to help you with."

"What if I told you ang next item ko is to tell you hindi talaga ako mamamatay?"

My eyes instantly locked onto him like a target missile. "What do you mean?"

He couldn't look at me. "I was only talked by Regie of doing it as a consequence of a game. Kasabwat ko si Cathy. And when I learned na nauto ka niya so bad to the point na prinopose mo 'tong bucket list, I took a day to consider. Pumayag ako because you made me think may mga bagay pa akong gustong gawin other than playing a stupid Truth or Dare. That's why I'm now asking if you're pranking, because that's just what I did. I'm sorry."