How could you do this

~17~

*2 months later*
Tw: Suicide

Jessica's Pov:

I'm standing in my bathroom with the door locked and my pills in my hand. I can't be here anymore I just need someone to make me feel better but they don't. I ask them for help and they go onto talking about them or say that they don't care. (Story of my life✌🏻)

*Calling Josh*

*Call declined*

*Calling Bryce*

*Call decided*

*Calling Mads*

*Call decided*

*Calling Mom*

*Voice mail*

*Calling lola*

*Call answered*

Lola: Hey bitch

Jess: Lola I can't do this anymore

Lola: What do you mean

Jess: Be here in this world anymore I want to die

Lola: Omg can you just shut up about wanting to kill your self

Jess: I-

Lola: You know John

Jess: Yeah

Lola: He cheated on me

Jess: Oh

Lola: Oh it's okay you don't care about me, every time you have to say something or you have a problem I help you

Jess: You really don't but I'm going to go I love you

Lola: Yeah whatever bye

*Call ended*

Well that just answered my question. I can't do this to my family but I need to do this for me. I'm hurting to much I can't do this. I can't deal with not sleeping because all I can think about is the kidnapping and how he might come back because they never found him or every time I post all of my comments is "kys" "slut" "josh deserved better" "how could you cheat on josh" "slit your wrists" I can't do it anymore.

I've  turned my comments off but then I get added into groups and they hurt even more. I need to do this.

I open my pills and take all of them out, I put them in my mouth and swallow them. I take a glass of water and you can tell how much I'm shaking.

*Incoming call from josh*

Josh: Hey Jess

Jess: J-josh

Josh: Princess what's wrong

Jess: I just took a shit loads of pills

Josh: WHAT

Jess: I took pills

Josh: Jess how much

Jess: The whole box

Josh: FUCK. BRYCE CALL JESS'S MOMS WORK NOW TELLING HER SHE HAS TO GET HOME RIGHT NOW. QUINTON CAN YOU BUCK A PLANE TICKET FOR ME AND BRCYE FOR TODAY