Destroying Things Is Gay, Here's Why

A/N: thus was not edited. I wrote this in like an hour. Inspired by a question of the day for a discord server asking us to come up with an idea for a fake essay on a random topic. I'll post the source I needed to use in the comments when Wattpad lets me.

Edit: so Wattpad won't let me post the source, but here it is so I'm still giving credit! I only used sources for the stonewall riots so there's only one source. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/gay-rights/the-stonewall-riots

Destroying Things Is Gay, Here's Why

By: Riley

Imagine trying to destroy something, but failing. This is an issue that straight people have dealt with for years. While gays go about, causing chaos with no worries. In this essay I will explain how straights just can't destroy things properly and only gays can create the right chaos needed to take over the country.

Straights do not have the chaos level to properly destroy things. Firstly, we will look at the Capitol riot on January 6th in the USA. The rioters were all trump supporters. Trump is extremely anti-lgbtq, which means that most trump supporters are going to be anti-lgbtq. Thus meaning that most of the supporters are straight. The riot failed and was shut down within hours of it starting. That being said, yes a lot of chaos was created. But the rioters goal was to prevent ballots from being counted to prevent Biden being sworn into office on the Twenty-Sixth. Ultimately their plan failed, and Biden was sworn in to be our president. In addition, Straights cannot even oppress gays for long anymore. As the world progresses to give more equality, more and more countries are allowing lgbtq rights. Mostly in Europe and North America, but you can see that in many areas Straights cannot even keep gays oppressed anymore, which no doubt is the goal of some (homophobes). Through this evidence you can see that, while yes Straights can create chaos, they fail to achieve their goal. Thus indicating that straights do not have the correct levels of chaos. They simply are not Chaos Central.

Gays, however, are Chaos Central and can easily destroy things. The first example is the Trump Rally being sold out by Gen Z in June of last year. In late June of last year, Donald Trump held a campaign rally - as any candidate to be president should. However, Gen Z decided to be a bit mischievous. Through TikTok, word spread of a prank they were to pull on Trump. Gen Z, comprised largely of gays and other lgbtq teens, bought large amounts of tickets to the Trump rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma. When the time came for the rally, hardly anyone showed up. Expecting full seats due to the sold out tickets, Trump was extremely upset when hardly anyone showed for the rally. Next, many gays that you meet will have an affinity for destroying things. Most specifically arson. I have not met a single gay who is not willing to commit arson with me. We will find the smallest reason to commit arson, or other illegal crimes, such as homophobes not respecting others or simply not getting to do something they really wanted to. Point is, every gay I have met can and will commit arson for no reason other than we can. Finally, When you put a group of gays together, nothing but chaos ensues. The best example to explain this one is when Corn created the Pride Chat in MOP. There were messages happening ever half a second and somehow we kept up with it all. That still happens when the Pride role is pinged, we all come running to see why we have been pinged, and usually will stay and chat for a while. Or, if you'd like a different example, take my friend group. All of us are gay in some way, and it is absolute chaos when you get even 2 of us together. Nothing is ever simple and almost any gay you meet will be able to switch from one topic to another in half a second, because we are so used to doing so when parents walk in and our closeted asses are talking about something gay. Simply put, Gays are Chaos Central and we have an affinity for destroying things, especially when we are angry.

Gays are angry. Firstly, we don't have rights. Most countries in the world (specifically Asia and Africa) are homophobic. And even in generally accepting countries like the USA, there are still anti-lgbtq laws. So in almost the entire world we either do not have rights at all, we have limited rights, or we simply do not have full rights. There are only 5 countries that give lgbtq+ people full and equal constitutional rights. Secondly, we are judged. Every gay knows this scene. You're in the closet, and you're about to come out. You're terrified because you've heard so many stories where people aren't accepted, and you don't know if your story will be like that. Or maybe it's this scene. You're out to family, but you're scared to tell your friends because you don't want to be known as the gay kid at school. Because teens are harsh and they'll judge you for who you are. Simply put, we're judged in society because for some reason someone decided that staying the gender you are born as and liking the opposite gender is the norm, ultimately resulting in judgement from that. Being judged naturally angers us. Thirdly, homophobes and transphobes still exist. I'm sure we've all heard a story of someone who had homophobic or transphobic parents, and ended up being kicked out, abused, or dying (being murdered or suicide) for simply being who they are. This is why we're scared to come out. Because we don't know if our parents will be like that or not. Homophobes and transphobes existing simply angers us, because we just want to live our life. But we can't. We have to worry about homophobes or transphobes attacking us on the street, or maybe even our own parents hating us, for something that we have no control over. So yeah. The Gays are angry. And when we're angry, we riot.

When Gays riot, we do it right. The only evidence I will be covering is the Stonewall Riots. Stonewall Inn was a gay club in New York in the 1960s. Disguised as an extremely exclusive club, members had to pay a fee and sign a book to get in to keep up their cover. In the club, gays were allowed to dance with the same sex (illegal at the time) and even drag queens were accepted. However, one day the bar was raided by police with no warning (usually they had a warning from corrupt police officers). They arrested 13 people, including employees and cross-dressers. This angered the patrons, who gathered outside the club instead of leaving. While police arrested lgbtq individuals, the other club members would attack the officers. While the riots didn't do anything to advance gay rights, it led to some of the first gay activist groups being formed. Even if we can't achieve our initial goal, when we riot we still achieve things other than chaos.

To summarize, Straights do not have the chaos level to properly destroy things, Gays are Chaos Central and can easily destroy things, Gays are angry, and When Gays riot, we do it right. Gays have the chaos levels required to take over a country, while Straights can't even destroy things correctly. In conclusion, be gay do crime.