24/7 DREAMER

[5] Emptiness

Ashyna

"Bakit mo ako sinusundan?"tanong ko sa lalaking kanina pa sunod ng sunod sa akin habang naglalakad ako sa park para magpahangin. "Stalker ba kita?"

Bigla naman itong tumawa at ginulo ang buhok ko kaya tinignan ko siya ng masama.

"Masyado akong gwapo para tawaging stalker."

Ang yabang naman ng lalaking 'to. Hindi ko na siya pinansin at patuloy na lumakad hanggang sa mapadpad ako doon sa puno kung saan niya ako nakitang umiiyak.

"Why did you cry that time?"he asked out of the blue.

Bakit ko naman sasabihin sa'yo? Sino ka ba? Hindi naman tayo close para sabihin ko pa sa'yo ang rason kung bakit ako umiiyak n'on. He waited for me to answer his question but I didn't.

"I see! I'm in no position to ask you that but I want to tell you something,"he smiled at me before continuing. "Please be happy, not for others, but for yourself. I want to see you smile again."

I don't know what happened to me that I ended up I nodding at him.

"Don't break your promise, okay? Please be happy even without him."

AM I THE only one who doesn't feel happy nor sad? I feel something, but I can't explain what it is. It's like I'm missing an important part of myself. I'm so confused on my emotions that I don't know what I feel anymore.

I don't know why, but I always wake up feeling empty lately. I've been dreaming about that guy for consecutive days already and I don't remember any of it anymore.

All I know is it was him. That guy who always shows up in my dreams. Sino ba talaga siya?

Why do I feel like this so sudden? I want to cry my heart out. My heart is hurting that it feels so heavy.

I really want to cry, but why? Why would I cry for no reasons? I need answers. Why do I feel like this? Why am I so hurt after dreaming about that guy?

It was raining so hard outside, but I didn't mind the cool wind touching my skin. I went at the terrace and spent a few minutes just staring at the rain. I'm thinking about that dream and the feeling that I got from it. Sadly, I won't be able to feel it in my reality.

I wanted to sleep all day so I can feel that again. The reason why I love dreaming is because it helped me find the comfort I've been seeking to feel when I'm awake. That guy is giving me the comfort that I needed through his words.

He was the only one made me feel like this. It makes me sad that I don't even remember him nor know him.

Tumatak sa isipan ko ang sinabi ng lalaki doon sa panaginip ko bago ako magising kanina.

Please be happy, not for others, but for yourself. I want to see you smile again.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga nangyari sa panaginip na 'yon tanging ang mga linyang 'yan lang ang naaalala ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nasasaktan ako bigla tuwing naaalala ko 'yon.

Huminga na lang ako ng malalim bago bumalik sa loob ng kwarto ko.

***

BANDANG alas dos ng hapon na tumila ang ulan. Balak kong pumunta sa park ngayon para magpahangin muna. Tapos didiretso na rin ako sa supermarket. Bibili ako ng stocks ng mga pagkain at kung ano-ano pa.

Diretso lang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa makita ko si GND sa labas ng bahay nina Tita Mika. Hindi ko sana siya papansinin pero hinarangan niya ako nang dumaan ako sa harap niya.