First Times

.

"Relax your body," Chifeng-zun says, squeezing his disciple's shoulder slightly. Or rather, he thought it was slightly. "Being able to stand upright is good, but you can't stiffen. Your body needs to keep up with the saber’s movement.

Meng Yao nodded, but maintaining concentration was a difficult task. Chifeng-zun was close enough that Meng Yao could feel his body heat.

The boy fought the instinct to step back, get closer. Maybe press his back against that wide chest. That would be good, he thought foolishly. Very, very good...

It's the cold, he justified to the still sane part of his mind, trying to spare what was left of his dignity. Deep down, however, he knew it was just the effect this man had on him. His common sense had no rest in combating the desire to merge with the older, to become one.

Controlling himself a second before shaking his head to ward off those thoughts (one of these days he would slip up and someone would realize that he wasn't paying attention... He could only hope that someone wasn't Chifeng-zun, the last person who he wanted to offend or disappoint), Meng Yao chided himself mentally for not listening. Frankly, letting yourself be dominated by these absurd ideas instead of being attentive to essential information...

"I think you're ready," says Chifeng-zun, giving the disciple a friendly pat on the back, making the boy lose his breath.

"Am I?" He asks, now looking directly at his master, praying that his gaze does not betray the dread he is feeling.

That had always been his dream (to be a competent cultivator), but that didn't stop him from feeling that he was about to vomit his own liver.

"Yes, you just need to believe in yourself," Chifeng-zun confirms, with just a hint of humor in his serene smile. "You learn faster than anyone I've ever taught, you can do it."

The trust that Chifeng-zun placed in him gave the feeling of rising to the heavens and being swallowed by the earth at the same time, and all of this very quickly.

Somehow, he managed to crack a brave smile. If he could convince his master, he might be able to convince himself.

Closing his eyes, he did as instructed: he concentrated on his saber, felt it’s restless spirit... Made it float just a few centimeters from the grass, enough for him to climb...

For just a second, he lost all concentration when Chifeng-zun grabbed his hand to help him up. The saber trembled under the only boot he placed on it, but it didn't fall.

Well, this is good. He blew out a breath he didn't realize he had held and offered his master a new smile as he climbed fully on the saber.

Chifeng-zun waited for him to gain stability before releasing his hand.

Meng Yao took a few deep breaths, trying to keep the recommendation to relax in mind.

"You are still tense," Chifeng-zun commented. "Move your arms a little. Put them back."

Meng Yao did as instructed, putting his hands together behind his back, feeling like a silly little boy in doing so.

"You see? You can move around a little, you won't fall."

Meng Yao nodded, trying to concentrate on his words and not on the distance (tiny, but just for now) that separated him from the grass.