zacblakelyXcammitchell

is it me you or the moon

A/N:So I watched this show on Netflix a few months ago and got really weirdly obsessed for a while. This is the first of a couple of fanfics I've been planning on writing for it since then, because honestly???? There oughta be more of a fandom for this gem of a show, and if I have to singlehandedly bring it to life with my ultra gay fics, then so be it.

It takes Cam forever to figure out that he's not jealous of Zac for having Evie, he's jealous of Evie for having Zac.

The stifling heteronormativity of the suburbs never let him connect the dots about the way he used to like Prince Eric better than Ariel as a kid, or the way he'd save the notes Zac passed to him in class until the pencil faded and the paper started to go a bit yellow. He doesn't know how to put into words the way Zac's warm brown eyes and winning smile make him feel like he's both falling and flying at the same time.

He knows gay people exist and that his cousin Xander is gay and that's okay– but at the same time, he's not supposed to want to be called gay because people are weird about things like that, apparently.

When they're thirteen and Zac starts officially dating Evie, Cam gets weird and tense around them, even though he likes Evie just fine. He knows not supporting his best mate having such a fantastic girlfriend would be a total dick move, but it's hard to hide the sad ache he feels in his chest when he sees them holding hands and giggling together, sitting slightly apart from the usual group at lunch.

Evie seems to think he's jealous of Zac and at first Cam thinks he is too. Jealous of his effortless golden boy sort of life, his unmatched talent on the swim team, his sugary sweet new relationship. Maybe that's all it's ever been.

Except it's not, and Cam knows this when Carly admits to him that she likes both boys and girls that same year, though Cam has no idea why she's chosen him to tell. She says it's because he's a good secret keeper, but for all his talk, Cam's never thought of himself as good at anything really.

There's a pull in his heart when she talks about her crush on Emmeline, a girl in their history class. How her smile makes Carly go all warm inside and she wants nothing more than to hold her hand and do everything in her power to protect that beautiful smile with all her might. And right then, it hits Cam like being knocked upside the head– he feels that exact same way about Zac.

He doesn't tell Carly this, and he sure as hell doesn't tell Zac about it that afternoon at junior lifeguards. When their shift is over, Zac is seemingly too lazy to get down off the tower and Cam climbs up to sit next to him. It's been a slower day than usual at the beach. As the sun inched closer to slipping below the horizon, less and less people were scattered on the sand and shoreline around them.

"Hey Cam?" Zac asks at random, looking up at him without fully meeting his eyes. "Can I ask you something sort of personal?"

Cam feels his heart start to race. "Sure," he says, trying to sound calm and cool and not as if he's got ten thousand butterflies in his stomach.

"I mean- gah, I don't really know how to ask this without sounding weird," Zac says, further sending Cam into near cardiac arrest.

"You're always weird," Cam jokes, and Zac laughs.

Zac shakes his head and tries again. "You've been kind of quiet lately. Since I started dating Evie. And I- I dunno. I don't want you to feel like a third wheel. Or jealous or whatever you feel."

"Oh sure, whatever I feel," Cam scoffs, before he can stop himself. It's the first time he's opened up about feeling shitty around Zac in forever. Zac stares at him, squinting in the light from the bright, golden sunset. Cam shifts, crosses his arms, tries to distract himself from the desire to just blurt out the full truth– I'm gay. I'm gay for you. I really really like you, full homo.