In Happiness and in Sorrow

The Unmarried and Barren

I woke up to the sound of the pestle and mortar hitting against one another to make Kuli by my aunt . I looked through the window and saw that everyone was already up and preparing for breakfast , our house helps kids were running around the house . I was lazy but my Mom doesn't tolerate laziness so I had better gotten up to go and help them . I freshened up and caught a glimpse of me on the mirror my mom had gotten from Vento . People usually tell me I am an ethereal beauty , well I do know but I have to be humble and say thank you . In my own opinion , why should I say thank you for something that I already know ?
Anyways , my mom wouldn't hear of it and wouldn't accept rudeness .

My Mom is what you call Sarauta , No one dares crosses her path for trouble . Not her co-wives, not her sisters, not even us her kids. She had high values and morals , she respected herself and doesn't expect you to be poke nosing about or being lazy . She rarely speaks , hardly works just on and about and supervising everyone else . Basically , she is no nonsense and I got my beauty from her , Her face is fair like tiger nut milk , her eyes were like pearls , the ones you get under the see. She is extremely tall and had the perfect shape . To make it short , my mom is very beautiful.

'Mariya wake up , mama is angry that you're still asleep by this time '
Oh no , I hate it when Mama gets angry because that would mean you making the dishes for three days in a row. I faked a smudged face and went to meet the women in the Compound . 'I thought you wanted another night so to have another round of sleep  ' I said nothing and greeted everyone there . The meal making continued.
It was a Saturday , Saturdays are the days the whole family gets together because life had a hold on everyone and everyone was busy with life .
A Car honked and my brother was asked to open the gate . It was my Sister-in law , she had been married to my brother for Seven years and I feel like she hates coming to our house because of the awkward glances she gets from the women in the house . Women are really the downfall of one another and i personally do not understand why you cannot just mind your business and ask people about things as sensitive as when would they have kids or when I would get married . How is when I'm supposed to get married or my sister in-laws pregnancy going to change the rate of dollar or repair the insecurity of the Country.

My Sister-in law came in and greeted the women and joined us. She is a role model for me . She works with O.P.E.C as an international Lawyer.  ' She has the best incense on Instagram' they were probably talking about Turaren Wuta by Ray. All the women in the family had that in us . We love incense and it was part of our daily lives . Just like the way eating is part of what you do everyday .
I was getting bored with their conversations , I didn't want to pick my phone because according to my mum family time is family time and if she had a way I know she would have stopped me from using a phone . Lately , my life has been boring . The only thing I do is scroll through my Instagram and every wedding seems to look the same . The Nigerian Government banned Twitter which was my favorite app and I always had a great deal of fun there .
Soon it was time for afternoon meal and everyone dispersed , we do not eat together and so everyone went to eat in their rooms or wherever . My sister in law followed me to my room . I always have a great time talking to her , I really have a sister in her since all my siblings were really older than me and my immediate brother got married to her which makes her own age closer to mine . 'I want to try IVF' she said to me . I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes.  'I'm really tired of this humiliation, I feel like I'm about to stop going for events to be honest , people don't allow you to have a good time , Can you believe I was at a wedding having a good time and eating when a friend of mine across the table wouldn't take her eyes of me .Mariya , guess what came out of her mouth ?
'What?'
'If only I didn't eat so much maybe there would be space for a baby to stay in my tummy 'I can't take it anymore to be honest '.
That's really sad to be honest , the pain in her voice was immeasurable and the fact that I can't do anything about it make me sad too .
She is a nice really person and didn't deserve all of this but I guess life isn't fair and you don't always get what you deserve .
A knock on the door and without waiting for a reply came in my Aunt. What was this woman doing here ? Aunty Indo is the most troublesome and annoying person in the whole world . She was married five times not like i am shaming her for her marriages but I heard it was all her fault that her marriages ended . I heard that the reason one of her marriages ended was because she slapped her mother in law . The only thing she does is cause havoc and triggers bad moods . She kept her "African Wicked Aunty "Shoes outside. It's like wicked Aunts had an association that gave them that shoe as their worldwide recognition. I was still thinking how and what on earth she was doing in our house , this early , hot Abuja Afternoon.
'Can't you greet, I'm not surprised Khadija . It's like the things you can do in this world are limited ,you can't greet  and you can't give birth "
Woah that came like a blow on my face , I have had enough of this woman to be honest . I didn't look at Khadija in the face I couldn't imagine it . She had just finished her complain and this woman came to rub salt on her wound ? 'Aunty Indo , you can leave my room please '
Aunty Indo looked shocked , it was like she didn't expect it . How do you do things to people like this and not expect a rebuke .
'Mariya , are you sending me out? I blame it on your Dad , he should have married you off at an early age but he decided to take a woman to England to finish her education ,what kind of display of disrespect is this , if you didn't go to England and had gotten married you would have had sense , God Forbid'
I didn't care to be honest , she could spend hours ranting for all I cared . I went to Khadija and told her I'm really sorry . Well , the thing could have been worse if my mom was like Aunty Indo .
Aunty Indo  is my Mom's step sister , their lives were totally different due to difference in upbringing . My Grandma was like my mom or even more. They had the finest manners , got educated and married responsible people . Aunty Indo's Mom was married from the village and she refused to adapt at all, she didn't care about her own kids getting educated, she just wanted them to get married and you know have kids .
Typical Northern thinking , it's beyond me.
Aunty Indo banged the door and left . 'Let's go out or something '  with the intention of clearing the air .
I told her I would go to get the key, The car keys are kept in my Dad's living room. I went in, there was a bowl of sweets always .  I packed a lot , I have a sweet tooth .
'Who is there '
'Baba I'm the one '
'Mamana , I didn't see you today '
A  classy Man in his 60's , his scent was out of this world . It was minty with a mix of Oud .
He had it in him to wear the finest things . He is  dark and a little bit thin . He is  taller than my mum by 2 inches, I know because we measured . He is a very hardworking man who used the Grace of Allah,hard-work and hope to achieve what he has today . He had met my mom when he went to her house to visit her Uncle who was living with them as at that time . You know the normal connections and mixing they do down here.
I peeped into the living room he was seated in , he was watching NTA Channel. I still wonder why Adults watch that dead channel when you have a range of other things to watch like BBC or even TVC. Arewa 24 is even better to watch .
'Good Afternoon Baba'
He responds and asks me about how my day has been going , I just said fine which was the opposite ,Aunty Indo ruined my Day but how would I tell him that . I picked the car key and made for the door.
' Buy me Awara on your way back '
Sigh ,you can remove the man from the village but not the village from the man . Baba loved all his local delicacies he grew up eating in Funtua and we always got sent to buy either  Awara  , Kallalaba or Kwalbebe.
'Okay Baba, Bye'
I went out and saw my sister in law , I walked towards her and pointed at the car we were to use .  Just then Aunty Indo came out and saw us , she hmmmmed out loud . We paid no attention to her and continued walking .
And she said the most hurtful words you could say to anyone who was trying that hard to give birth and not enter social anxiety mode .
'Dole ku zama kawaye ai, da mara aure da juya'

Hausa Words
Kuli -A groundnut cake made in Africa .
Awara -Tofu
Funtua-A local government in Katsina State,Nigeria.
Kallalaba- A local pancake fried with palm oil and eaten with dried pepper
'Dole ku zama kawaye ai, da mara aure da juya'
- you are friends because you share something in common , the unmarried and the barren.