Renegade Robot

Twelve

“Well, at least the doors are locked," Wyatt said, and went around the rest of the house securing the windows and pulling down shades.

“Mmmph," Jalopy said, his mouth full of ham and cheese. 

Suddenly, the front door opened. Wyatt nearly jumped as his sister Bethany waltzed into the house, as blithe as any summer day, accompanied by a man who looked vaguely familiar.

“What are you doing here?."Wyatt yelled, rushing past her and shutting the door before any of the accumulated mob could force their way in. He turned both the locks and fastened the chain.

“You promised to come back," Bethany said calmly, putting her purse on the side table in front hallway and looking around at the furnishings with disapproval.

“You certainly haven't cleaned up since the last time I was here," she commented. “Don't you have any domestic qualities at all? I suppose not. You never really did."

“Bethany!," Wyatt shouted at her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around. “I want you out of here, right now, and this character too. Whoever the heck you are, get out!"

The man, a smallish gentleman with a large head, very well dressed, very photogenic with his slick thin hair and his pencil mustache, beamed gently at Wyatt and said,

“I'm very pleased to meet you too. My name is Wilbur Cranshaw, but you probably know me better by my public name, Mr. Wonderful."

“No, I don't know you or your public name," Wyatt spat, “I only know I want you out of my house, right now."

“I'm afraid that's impossible, “Mr. Wonderful informed him. “I have a duty to perform, and on behalf of the church, the city, and the public at large, I will perform my duty, and you, my young friend, will be glad that I did."

“I don't know what you're talking about," Wyatt said, as Jalopy appeared in the hallway.

“Woah!."he said, “Mr. Wonderful! What are you doing here?"

“Please to meet you sir," said the man, “and you are?"

“Call me Jalopy," Jalopy said, “most people do."

“Then I will too," said the very formal Mr. Wonderful. He glanced around, and decided on the living room as the place to set up shop. He sauntered into the room, inspected all the chairs and took the most comfortable one for himself. From the folds of his jacket he extracted a sort of tablet, which he touched in various ways as to bring it to life in color and sound. It was a fully featured broadcast-studio-on-glass.

“I am here," he said to the glass, “in the home of a certain Wyatt Lorenzo, otherwise known by different names these days, none of which I shall repeat, out of respect for the gentleman whose hospitality I currently enjoy."

With a few more swipes he directed the scene at Wyatt, Bethany and Jalopy, who were still in a clump in the hallway. Bethany seemed to realize she was on screen, for she began to pat down her hair and smiled and swayed womanishly into the room.

“Bethany Hayward," she introduced herself. “You may know me by my works," she added.

“Indeed," Mr. Wonderful narrated, “the very famous author Bethany Hayward is with us this afternoon, as well as Mister Jalopy, on your right, and Mr. Lorenzo, on the left. Gentlemen," he waved his arm at them, “Please do make yourselves comfortable."

Nearly against his will, Wyatt found himself complying with Mr. Wonderful's instructions. Soon he was seated directly across from the man, looking straight into the camera.

“We at Human Interest International are, as always, primarily concerned with the individual," Mr. Wonderful was saying. “However, in this case, more is at stake. There is alarm amongst the people. There have been reports, rumors, dare I say even a note of panic? These are complicated times indeed. At the heart of the recent upheaval is one man, the very same Mr. Lorenzo who is kind enough to join us today. Around this man are swirling various controversies, dangerous currents, perhaps even enormities beyond imagining. It is my sworn duty to dig, to delve, to penetrate the very depths in pursuit of the truth, and I promise I will do so to the fullest extent of my capabilities. Now then, Mr. Lorenzo, I would like first of all to give you the opportunity to make a statement on your own behalf."

“Go to hell," Wyatt replied, “And get out of my house right now!"

“I'm afraid I can't do that," Mr. Wonderful replied.

“Is that so?."Wyatt asked. He stood up, and beckoned Jalopy with a slight head motion to join him over by the window. There, while pretending to have a private conversation with his friend, he unlatched and opened the window, then together they quickly turned, lifted Mr. Wonderful out of his seat, and threw him out of the opening. Wonderful landed with a thud, his studio bashing his nose as they hit the ground together.

“Wyatt!" Bethany exclaimed, rising from her seat. “That was incredibly rude."

“I'll tell you what's rude," he turned on her, “Breaking into my house in the middle of this emergency, that's what I call rude."

“You promised you'd help me," Bethany repeated. “You said you'd return and you didn't, so I came here."

“Bringing that moron with you."

“He snuck in behind me," she explained. “Really, I had no idea he was even there."

“I don't believe you," Wyatt said, “And if you don't want to go out the same way he did, I suggest you help me figure out what the heck we're going to do to get rid of all those people."

“I don't think that's going to be possible," Bethany told him. “Those are Church people. They're planning a vigil. They expect to be here as long as it takes."

“As long as it takes what?"

“As long as it takes you to call off the catastrophe," she told him.  Wyatt was speechless. It was Jalopy who brought up the obvious question.

“What catastrophe?"

“The snake, of course," she told them, matter-of-factly. “The Serpent from Hell who is planning to complete the conquest of Mankind."

“Oh come on," Wyatt snickered. “That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

“Nevertheless," Bethany went on, “that's what they think, and they're doing what they believe they must."

“Surrounding my house?"

“Not just that," she told him. “They're performing the Rites of Ultimate Reclamation. Don't you see, Wyatt? This is the moment we have all been waiting for, the reason the Church was founded. This is it, at long last!"

“No it isn't," he told her. “They're wrong, and you're wrong. This is nothing. Nothing, I tell you"

“But the snake."she started to say.

“There was no snake!."he yelled. “There is no snake. It's not a snake. It wasn't a snake! How many ways do I have to say it?"

“We all saw it," she corrected him. “Remember, it was broadcast."

“So you saw for yourself it wasn't a snake," he said. “It was more like a monkey. It was four inches tall. It had two legs, two arms. It had a head with ears and eyes, a nose and a mouth. How was that a snake?"

“The snake comes in many forms," she said. “The devil is a master of disguise."

“The devil? Oh for heaven's sake! It was planting butterfly seeds!"

“At least that's what it said it was doing," Jalopy chimed in.

“It's real purpose is shrouded in mystery," Bethany said. “Oh, it's just so exciting! And so sexy," she added. “Oh. Oh. Oh my God. I think it's coming! I think I can feel it! Quick, quick, do you have a pen and some paper? Oh yes, oh yes. Oh my," and she rushed off to Wyatt's bedroom where she remembered he kept some notebooks.