Not the same - enemies to lovers

Part 4- understand me

"Suck. My. Dick."

sam-"oh Tony you fucked up" I had two options, kill Tony and get put in a cell or jump out of the window and let my anger out outside. yes it might seem like one extreme to the next but I don't care, there the options i've given myself.

... 

kill Tony. 

Wanda- "nope option number two young lady" I loudly sighed and jumped out the window flying to the ground, in the gardens it was pretty much just miles of grass so I really decided to let everything I'd been bottling up out. all the avengers ran out onto the balcony looking down at me.

I screamed a spine chilling scream and fell to my knees, my power burst out speeding from me all across the grass, as it spread it burned away any life that it came into contact with. tears were streaming down my face I sobbed into my hands as the green energy lingering across the grass faded away, I looked up and saw the mess id made. I'd once again let my emotions show. how could I be so stupid. 

Flicking my hands the green energy returned and the grass grew back thicker and greener with flowers and trees to nurture the soil beneath it, before flying up and back onto the balcony.

It was silent for a while, everyone was looking at my sympathetically and giving Tony death stares for him to apologise.

Tony-"im sorr-"

y/n-"great that's all I needed i'm going to bed" I forced a smile as I pushed my way to the door walking back inside, they followed quickly with concerned looks on there faces, but they don't care about me. They just need my power. 

Bucky-"you haven't eaten though"

I scoffed and without even turning to look back at anyone "like you care"

I made it to my floor and dragged my feet to the fridge, there was one plum. what the hell! why don't we have any food? its not like they can't afford it. I took the plum and had finished by the time I'd slowly made it to my room, I threw it into the small bin beside my bed, for once I actually wanted to fall asleep In the bed besides being on the floor. Lying on it was. . . an unusual sensation to say the least. i felt like I wasn't going to stop sinking, but I couldn't complain, I'd never lay on something so comfortable in my life. my eyes shut and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

3:30am

Its day fuck knows of having nightmares, each night I fall into a dreamless sleep and then, nightmare. they come from nowhere and make me wake up in a cold sweat, I have to cover my mouth so I don't wake anyone because most the time i'm shouting or screaming myself awake. 

I walked out of my room and to the elevator taking myself straight to the library, I'd be alone and calm and everything will be fine. I collected several books, 2 high piles at least, and began my journey into each imaginary world, I longed to be one of the characters in every book I read. I get way to attached and feel lost once I've finished each one, I just hate that this is my life, everything bad I could have imagined happening to me happened and now i'm this messed up problem who- who- ugh i'm just a monster. 

loki-"no i absolutely won't tolerate that type of thinking, why don't we plan Starks death instead, or think about the good things at least like. . . what's your favourite book" his voice echoed from the shadows as he appeared from behind a bookshelf and sat on the floor next to me, we didn't look at each other, he didn't even sit close enough for our skin to touch, but his presence was radiating a home like feeling.

I sniffled slightly "pride and prejudice" I whispered 

loki-"and why do you love it"

y/n-"because when I read it I can be her, not me" I spoke even quite this time causing him to look at me, I still looked forward for a while before giving in and turning to look back at him with teary eyes. "why do you care, you don't like me, you torment me" he looked down sighing.