Keep The Faith

11.

Addison's mouth was moving. She was saying things, things her husband should have been listening to. But his gaze was fixed on Meredith, and his brow furrowed in worry as he watched her take shot after shot.

He tried to count how many times she raised the glass to her lips, but he wasn't sure how many he'd missed the few times he'd looked at Addison. His hands tensed around his own glass every time she tipped her head and poured tequila down her throat.

She wasn't even with her friends. She was a few stools away from all of them, like she couldn't bear to talk to anyone. Addison waved her hand in front of Derek. "Sweetie." She said, exasperated. "You still in there? I'm exhausted. Can we go?"

Derek forced a smile. "If you grab the car, I'll settle with the bartender." Addison nodded and gathered her things. Derek waited until she left, then strode up to the bar.

💉🩺

Meredith felt a hand on her arm as she raised another shot to her lips. It took her about three seconds to realize it wasn't any old hand, it was his hand. "What do you want?" she asked, her voice sounding harsher than she'd realized.
"Mer, stop. Please." He asked, his tone caught somewhere between pleading and commanding. His hand on her skin was scorching. She wrenched her arm from his glass and poured the alcohol down her throat, enjoying the burn.

She shook her head. "No." she said. "No. You have no say over how I ride out the waiting."

"Meredith, you're going to hurt yourself."

She shook her head and smiled a crooked, sad, smile. "No." she said again. "Tonight, I'm not hurting. I'm not going to feel anything at all, Derek." She said, signaling for another shot.

"She's had enough Joe." Derek called.

"Pour me another, Joe." Meredith countered. She turned back to Derek. "You're not my boyfriend, Derek. You don't have to watch out for me."

"I don't mind." He said, smiling what he hoped was his McDreamy smile.

She shook her head. "You don't get to watch out for me, Derek." She said, a harshness in her voice. "You don't get to keep me waiting for you, and then expect that you can watch out for me."

"I'm sorry." He said in a husky voice. "I'm sorry."

She shut her eyes to his. "You make me feel so much, I think I'm going to break. I don't want to feel anything right now."

He placed a hand on her arm. "Meredith, don't do this."

She opened her eyes and looked into his, for a long, long time. She reached out with the arm not covered in his and placed her hand over his. Fingers intertwined on contact, and their eyes remained locked.

Her friends, and half the bar was staring at them, but neither of them moved. Finally, Meredith looked down. "Your wife is probably waiting." She murmured.

Derek pressed his lips to her forehead. "Take care of yourself." He whispered. "Please." He ran his hand up her arm and clutched her should as he walked away. From the door of the bar, Addison left her position at the window, and ran back out into the rain.

After what she had seen, she didn't care how Derek got home.

💉🩺

After going back to the hospital to retrieve his own car, Derek drove home slowly, almost turning around and going back to check on Meredith a few hundred times. When he finally reached the trailer, he walked through the rain slowly, like moving too quickly would cause something horrible to happen to her. When he entered the trailer, Addison was sitting on the bed, with her arms crossed and ice in her stare.
"Hi." He said.