Nanatili akong nakatayo roon at walang lakas na ibuka ang bibig o 'di kaya ay tignan siya ng diretso sa kaniyang mga mata. I could totally feel his stares, but I chose to ignore them. I don't know why I can't bear to see him this close.
Siguro ay sa tagal naming hindi nagkita ay hindi na ako sanay sa kaniyang presensya.
Maya-maya ay lumapit ito kung nasaan si Vicliangco. Nag-usap ang dalawa ng ilang saglit bago ako binalingan ng tingin ni Kuya. He smiled at me but I did not gave him any reaction.
"Kumain na ba kayo? Camari?" tanong nito at akmang maglalakad patungo sa kusina nang nagpaalam sa kaniya si Vicliangco na aalis na.
Kaagad nitong tinanguan at pinasalamatan ang huli bago napako sa akin ang tingin na tila nagpapaalam ngunit ang isinukli ko lamang ay isang malamig na ekspresyon.
I'm not sure why he felt the need to seek for my permission to leave. As if I give a damn if he stays or not. Hindi ko naman hawak ang kaniyang desisyon.
He smiled softly before leaving me here with my brother. Saka ko lamang napagtanto ang dahilan ng kaniyang pag-alis. He wants us to have a moment.
"Cam," pagtawag sa akin ng aking kapatid na kaagad kong hinarap.
"What exactly do you want? Dalian mo at hindi ako magtatagal rito," panimula ko ng maiwan kaming dalawa sa may sala.
Hindi ko nagawang makaupo pa sa kadahilanang gusto ko ng makaalis rito. Staying here would just make me remember the moments that I want to bury in the depths of the ground.
"It's already evening. Dito ka muna magpalipas ng gabi," saad niya at namulsa.
He's standing there looking at me softly. May kislap ng pag-aalala at alinlangan ang kaniyang mga mata. Ang malamig kong tingin sa kaniya ay kabaligtaran ng nagbabaga kong damdamin.
Even knowing that I can change the way I am doesn't change the fact that he's my brother. Maybe this wouldn't happen if we lived in different circumstances. Maybe I don't have to be unsure of how I would act towards him if isn't for that situation.
I can't help but ask questions for myself. What if he didn't just hide the truth from me? What if we solved that problem together? Mas madali lang siguro ang lahat kung gano'n nga ang nangyari.
If only he'd been brave enough to tell me the truth and stand up for what's right, maybe I wouldn't hold such grudges against them. I wonder if he blames himself for that.
Siguro kaya ako ganito ay dahil hindi ko rin minsan naramdaman kung paano maprotektahan dahil madalas, ako ang pumprotekta. Namulat sa maagang pagsasakripisyo at hindi naramdaman ang pagmamahal.
Nang makita ang kaniyang mukha na umaasa ay tila ba gusto kong ilabas ang hinanakit sa kaniya. Seeing how fine he is makes me wonder if I'm the only one who truly suffers.
"Knowing that I'm together with liars and manipulators? No way in hell I'm going to let myself sleep here," wika ko sa mahabang katahimikan, sinasagot ang kaniyang suhestyon.
I could clearly see the pain and frustration on his face the moment I said those words. It was my refusal to reveal my pain when his emotions surfaced. His anguish is obvious, but mine was kept buried.
Sa kalagitnaan ng ipinapakitang kalungkutan ay isang buntong-hininga ang kaniyang pinakawalan kasunod ng kaniyang mga salita.
"Kahit ngayong gabi lang. You need to rest."
"This is not my home and I'm not comfortable being here," I continued to counter his suggestion.
"This is ours," he said calmly.
CZYTASZ
Speck of Dust
ChickLit(Eleutheromania Series #2) Power. Perfection. Misery. Camari Gracia Constana can achieve anything as long as her parents are pleased. She's chasing not only perfection but also her parents' praise, yet there's a limit to everything when you're const...
