The Book of Farts (Corpsekkuno)

Fart Jokes

(one night in a discord server, me and a friend, called Petra4President, - both of us with heavy sleep deprivation also- was making only the best farts jokes and made another fellow friend in the server laugh her ass off across the world while she was at work, and was challenged by her to make a book based off fart jokes and this was created)

Corpse had been in a depressive slump recently, chalking it up to his inability to deal with the sudden rise to fame. His usual coping methods no longer worked except drinking wine and with each passing day, he found it harder to even get out of bed in the morning. He acknowledged the constant buzzing of his phone and he knew it was probably Jack or Rae checking up on him. Not that he'd text them back.

This always happened when the stress got to him. Corpse would go off the grid for days on end, worrying the ever-loving shit out of not only his fan base but also his friends. At the time, he wouldn't think much of it but when he was mentally well enough to check social media, he'd always feel bad about making everyone concerned. But no matter how many times he told himself to just pick up his phone, his body wouldn't cooperate with him.

For three days now, Corpse has been blasting Bones on repeat through his speaker. The only time he's ever really left his room was to go to the bathroom and maybe eat a snack if he was lucky enough to stomach it. At least he had enough energy to shower this morning so he no longer smelled like he just got back from a three-day hike in the Sahara Desert. His curly hair was still damp, and it would be for the next hour. He spilled wine on his shirt yesterday so he chose to just not put on a new one, the cold against his bare chest gave him some sense of reality.

The buzzing next to him was much faster than it usually was, which told Corpse he was getting a phone call. He couldn't be bothered, opting to turn onto his side and stare at the blank wall instead. Soon enough, the noise faded and Corpse cursed at himself for not unplugging the damned device from its charger. Maybe it would've been dead by now so he wouldn't have to constantly be reminded of the life he needs to be leading. But he found peace in the silence no sooner than it disappeared, three soft knocks at his door shattering whatever clarity he found.

Almost immediately, he felt the all-too familiar feeling of anxiety squeezing his chest. He didn't order any food. Or groceries, for that matter. Did he lock his door? Was someone trying to break in? Did someone find out where he lived? Did-

"Corpse?" Although the sound was muffled, he recognized that sound anywhere. The anime-like characteristics of his voice, the soft weight it carried, not to mention just hearing it made his brain release the serotonin he's been lacking. Just like that, his body was filled with energy that dragged him out of bed, forgetting the fact he was completely shirtless, and swinging the door open to reveal the man standing outside.

This wasn't the first time they've met in person but seeing him standing on his doormat still took his breath away. He was wearing an overly large green sweater, Corpse loved it when he wore shirts that were too big, and blue skinny jeans. His hands were held behind his back, as if he was hiding something from Corpse. His hair was looking perfect, as always, and his face went from a shy smile to bright red in a manner of moments.

"C-Corpse, you're shirtless!" Sykkuno squeaked, quickly covering his face with the sleeve of his sweater. Corpse was even more grateful he was in the state of mind to shower today. If he had to see the brunette while smelling like manure, he'd probably die right then and there. Instead, he let loose a chuckle and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him and locking it. Corpse didn't feel the need to hide his face, he trusted Sykkuno more than anyone. So, he decided to tease him instead.

"What? You don't like what you see?" The pout he wore was completely fake but Corpse was sure that Sykkuno wouldn't be able to tell the difference. The brunette quickly grabbed his hand, his face a glorious mixture of embarrassment and blush. Making comments like these online was one thing; seeing his actual reaction in person was a whole other subject.