one more time - bennett/razor

far away

(inspired off of a kurokura fic on ao3 that is way better written than this.)

He looked up, taking a glance into those eyes he used to love so much, those lips that used to feel so comforting against his, and those hands that have been everywhere once before. He smiled, and his lover smiled back, but it wasn't the type they shared early into their relationship. It wasn't full of happiness, like before, instead, it was pieced together from regret. From sorrow. From pain.

He was cold. When they were younger, running through the trees, laughing, just hanging out, even when they traveled through Dragonspine, it never felt as cold as this.

It was impossible to tell when this rift between them first formed, but it has torn through them like an earthquake, unrelenting, devastating, but expected.

No childhood relations last throughout their entire life. Even the Raiden Shogun will fall eventually, no matter how much they try for eternity.

They felt terrible.

They didn't want to leave. They didn't want to pretend. They didn't want to let go.

But fate's a bitch, huh.

This must just be his luck finally coming to bite him in the ass for all of the good, memorable times spent with his previous best friend, his current lover.

The hand trailing through his hair was a false comfort, loving little lies through every stroke. Despite the efforts they both put into keeping this relationship alive, they knew they couldn't do anything to stop this decline.

He took a deep breath, opening his mouth to speak, but was cut off by his boyfriend

"Please, don't." He begged, looking away with guilt. "I don't want-"

"But we need to." It was a definitive outcome, nothing could prevent that. "We can't keep pretending-"

"Please. Just for a little longer." It was clear from his expression that he was filled with shame, his voice coming out even dryer than usual. His crimson eyes were on the brink of tears. Slowly closing them, he let out a shaky breath. "Razor... can't live without you."

His old habit came back, something that happened when he was under pressure. Of course, he couldn't either.

"I know, it's just- we can't keep living like this-" he motioned between them with his hand. He was always a physical speaker. "-forever, either." He sat up, coming face to face with his partner. His heart thumped loudly in his ears, drowning out almost all background noises. He could practically feel the tension between them.

It was a bright day outside, not the day they should be sorting out their feelings. They should be out adventuring and having fun.

Just like they used to.

He pushed that thought bringing himself back to the present. Glancing back up at the scarred face of his lover, his stomach dropped. His eyes were still tightly shut, and a single stray tear fell down his cheek. His eyebrows were furrowed, obviously trying his hardest to hold back the emotions threatening to burst.

Bennett frowned. He has always hated seeing him go through all of this emotional turmoil, even without the love that once filled his heart.

"If- if we have to leave- Razor wants to-" he quickly cut off that train of thought, shaking his head frustratedly. His ash-grey hair bouncing behind him.
"One more time?" He pleaded, opening his eyes and doing that thing that used to make him swoon. That, however, was during another time. Yet, he still couldn't bring himself to say no.

He put on a fake smile, something he seemed to be doing more often, and nodded softly.

"One more time."

---