Indifferent

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As we were walking to our boulevard, I begun to feel my hands get hot and slippy. I wiped my hands on my cardigan to take the sweat off, but my hands just continued to sweat even more. Pony boy noticed and couldn't help but laugh.
"What are you laughing at" I snapped.
"Why are your hands so damn wet" he said in between laughs
"I wish I knew" I sighed, clamping my hands together. He sniggered beside me.
"Shut up!"
"You shut me up last night didn't you" he replied. I looked at him in dismay, making him realise that what he said was totally out of order. I ran the rest of the way home, pony grabbing me once I got to the door. I wriggled out of his grasp and pushed open the door without trying to keep quiet. Two bit walked up to me, patting my hair and giving me a tight hug.
"Where were you? I nearly died I was so scared" he shook me.
"We were at the car lot, it's cool" I tried to wriggle away again but he held tight and called the rest of the boys out. Johnny rolled his eyes and took me out of Two Bits grasp, analysing me.
"Your so dirty, why have you got a bruise on your cheek?" He touched the bruise and I winced at the pain. I shook my head and walked off. Soda and Darry went to Ponyboy and questioned him about his cuts and the fact that we were out sleeping in a car lot together.
"Nothing happened" I heard him say timidly.
"Your not convincing me." One of them said. I walked off to my room to find some fresh clothes before I went into the shower, and Dally was asleep on the bed. Steve came out of his room into mine, his eyes widening when he saw me.
"Where were you Greenie, we were scared" he dropped his sandwich for the umpteenth time and cuddled me tightly. He smelt really nice, a musky smell so I wasn't that bothered.
"Car lot with Pony" I said. He leant back and looked me in the eyes, raised eyebrows.
"You slept in a parking lot with ponyboy?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and went back to picking out a new top.
"It wasn't like I was gonna come back home after what Dally did. And neither did Pony" I slipped out.
"What happened with pony?" He walked closer towards me. There was no way out now.
"Socs, of course. You can't tell anyone though, I swear he's okay now. He just got hurt by them a bit but it's fine" I looked him directly in the eyes.
"This one time. If anything ever happens again and I find out, you'll both be in big trouble" he kissed my forehead before walking away.
"You know it's not his fault don't you? He's not as strong as the rest of you, it's not in his nature to be like that" I shrugged. His face weakened and he gave me a weak smile.
"I know, but if I told the boys that they wouldn't listen. Talk to Soda, maybe he can talk the rest of them around it" he smiled before walking out. The door slammed shut and dally woke up at the exact moment. He made me jump and I screamed a little. He sat up and patted the bed for me to sit beside him. Reluctantly I did.
"I'm really sorry Greenie. For what I did. I shouldn't have. If you wanna hang out with Annie then do so, it's not your fault. None of it ever is." He gave me a side hug and once again, a kiss was planted. I smiled at him.
"It's okay" I said. He nodded and walked off.
I closed the bedroom door and sat at my wooden desk beside the bed. It was just past nine, the sun shining on the frost that covered the overgrown weeds and crops in our field. Sometimes I enjoyed to sit there and look out, it made me feel calm but other days I'd look at the wide space and feel alone. This particular day I felt indifferent, it was a weird feeling (if you can even call it that). Part of me wanted to run away ALONE this time and do things like normal civilised teenagers, a part of me wanted to shrivel up and cry and another part of me wanted to shower - I stank of BO. So I did a quick diary entry along the lines of ' weird night, ponyboy isnt who I thought he was blah blah blah' and took a long shower. When I came out I felt like I had returned to my normal mental state,  in which I got dressed and lay in bed staring at the sky as it changed colours. No one bothered me for once, and I felt at peace.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 02, 2018 ⏰

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