𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞, Jalen Green

xii. let the games begin

September 1st, 2019.

AIRA DIDN'T KNOW WHY SHE WAS SO NERVOUS. She's talked to Jalen about everything; crushes, parents, homework, whatever. But she's never talked about kisses, partly due to the fact that at seventeen, she is still yet to have her first. Now, she's got to talk to him about almost kissing him? Yeah, no wonder why the girl was so fidgety during her last period.

Aira carefully watched the clock tick, barely paying attention to what her teacher had to say. The nerves were kicking in, and she still had twenty minutes of class left. She exactly knew how she felt. She knew she wished she leaned in instead of just waiting there. She knew the Friday night was the most fun she's had in a while. And she certainly knew that despite what her sister and a couple of her friends said, Joshua was definitely out of the equation for sure, if he was even there to begin with.

But the thing that scared her the most was she had no idea how Jalen felt. And usually, she knew how did. She just knew him like that, but she never accounted the test of time until she came to see a changed boy. So, Aira had no idea if that was him or a heat of the moment type thing. And if there was one thing Aira feared more than this confrontation, it was rejection.

Aira considers herself to be good with words. She read a lot, listened to people talk, even sometimes goes to Dictionary.com for fun. But for the first time, she had no idea what to say to him. She thought of all the words she could say to him and none of them sufficed, at least in her opinion. He was a boy who left her absolutely speechless.

Everything about that night was just so perfect, and she didn't want Monday morning to crash down the moment. So yeah, Aira was nervous.

The bell rings and Aira promptly packs her things up and heads towards her locker. She didn't know how she was supposed to tell him how she felt in under five minutes with the impeding time limit that was his practise.

And with each step forward, Aira's heart races as she gets more fidgety. Expressing her feelings... that whole concept was unknown to Aira; and maybe right now she should be, because aren't things always easier that way? Aira was always the runner, never the chaser.

"Shit, Ai. You look nervous as hell," Nadine comments as she eyes Aira up and down.

"For real?" Aira returns the question back, keeping her glance steady at her locker.

Nadine nods as she slams her locker shut. "Yup. Like you about to make a deal with the Devil or something."

"Well, I'm definitely not making a deal with the Devil," Aira chuckles as she shuts the locker door closed. "But it's nothing, I swear. Just nerves, I guess... from test taking and-"

"Okay, now you're just rambling, which is a tell-tale sign you're lying. What's up, Aira?" Nadine raises her eyebrow with doubt, reading through Aira perfectly.

Aira sighs, looking over her shoulder for a brief moment. Through the corner of her eye, she sees Joshua amble slowly towards the neighbouring locker. She keeps her mouth shut with an awkward smile as they make eye contact. Luckily, he didn't take more than ten seconds before walking away, seemingly to practise.

The long ten seconds of silence is broken by Nadine, "Yeah, something is definitely up. Tell me for real, did something happen on Friday night?"

"Yeah... but not between Joshua and I," Aira admits. Nadine, still confused as ever, raises her eyebrow, silently asking for context. "Between Jalen and I."

"Oh my god, you still like him?" Nadine basically repeats, shocked at the revelation.

"Well, not like that it's just- I guess those feelings were kind of reawakened. Like I don't know how to thoroughly explain it. I left with those feelings, returned with no feelings. And they somehow came back," Aira tries to explain, but she herself didn't understand the complex being known as "her feelings".