I know that i need to work on it i truly do i just go black and see red anytime. i need to stop making excuses though because at the end of the day that's what they are, "i'm going through a lot" or "i'm hungry" or "i want to die" it's all i i i it needs to stop. i have so many people around me that need me to step up and care for them without the excuses without the hitting without the getting in someone's face. it just all needs to end i realize that now and i think at least acknowledging it is the first step even if it might not actually be... i need to show him that i can care the way he does for me i can take care of him. i can do this i have before just pull yourself up buttercup you are worthy as mom says. hm worthy. i love thinking about that showing everybody on this planet that they are because at the end of the day we're all just humans worthy of living on this planet. gunner especially. my rock. always here even in the storm, god that boy has been through so much including me and today's the day it stops. he needs the love i know i can give but have been so scared to. he is worthy of it. every. single. bit. anyways til next time-lil❤️
