Part 6

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So it WAS the stag thing.

" hey thats like your fourth scoop of peanut butter, when were you such a peanut butter enthusiast?" Sirius asked.

James shrugged, looking at the peanut butter and cracker that he had suddenly had cravings of.

" i guess i just realized how great peanut butter is." He responded with false cheeriness.

Sirius scoffed but was grinning, looking at the other two.

" am i going crazy or did he used to hate nuts?"  Sirius pointed at him.

Remus laughed and nodded, taking a break from devouring his chocolate chip pancakes.

" thats true. You hated nuts, wouldn't even touch food cooked with them let alone eat jars of it."

Peter nodded in agreement with remus, resting his head in his palm.

" you didn't even like cashews."

" or almonds."

" walnuts."

" peanuts."

" not even trail mix."

" thats just a mix of all those things."

" i know but it has raisins in it-"

" okay! Enough talking about all the kinds of nuts i hated. I just like peanut butter can we not make a big deal?" James yelled when the conversation about james' eating habits got a bit out of control.

Sirius raised his hands in defense and nodded.

" fine fine. Still strange tho."

" oh definitely." Remus nodded.

James sighed and rolled his eyes, taking a bite out of his cracker with a little more vigor.

Yep.

" peanut butter definitely tastes better when you're a stag." He said out loud.

" when did you get access to peanut butter as a stag?"

" huh?" James turned to peter and realized he had said it with his outside voice.

" oh uh nothing, nothing. I heard that stags like peanut butter and i think some of that instinct is rubbing off on me." He waved it off.

The other three shared a look but didn't say anything, just shifting into idle chatter as james distanced from the others.

He distracted himself from everything on his mind, looked at the people around and watched the teachers a little.

Looked at the ceiling and wondered how wax doesn't melt all over the place and burn everyone from the floating candles.

And then his mind wandered off to the Slytherin table, frowning when he didn't see severus and his frown deepening when he didn't see him at the hufflepuff or gryffindor table.

But his frown was replaced with shock when he finally found him in the crowd of ravenclaws, already staring at him with a curious look.

It made him blush and look away, not even knowing why he was acting this way.

Why am i red? What the fuck?

" oooh~ someone made eye contact with lily." Sirius poked his ribcage and made him jump.

" what? No I didn't!" He yelled a little too loudly and defensively.

" yes you did! Thats why you're blushing, oh my god you're so smitten."

" no I didn't! I wasn't even looking at lily i was looking at-"  he stopped himself.

He was looking at severus. Why? Why was he looking at his worst enemy and blushing like a school girl about it?

What would his friends say? What would lily say?

" you weren't? Then who were you looking at?" Peter asked and looked around to see what james had seen.

" n-nothing. Shut up, leave me alone."

" ooh someone is grumpy."

" shut up moony."

He hears a couple chuckles and eventually it all died off in their conversations. James picked at his food now, now in a worser mood.

He spared a look in the direction of the ravenclaws table again, seeing severus but he wasn't looking back.

He was talking to lily calmly without a worry and james just watched his mouth move, wondering what he was saying.

Maybe he's told lily about the stag he's met in the forest?

Or maybe their conversation doesn't revolve all around james and he's just overthinking everything. Probably the latter.

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James liked severus' touch. It was always soft and gentle, as if severus was scared he was gonna run away.

He liked how he scratched just the right places, smoothed out his fur so it looked pretty and put together. His hands were slendee but long, surprisingly big and always cold.

Maybe he liked to warm them against James, if it meant more pets then he was willing for anything.

He also liked how severus had something new every time he came. He would read pieces of literature from his muggle poetry books, show him impressive charms not even flitwick taught and every once in a while choose an unfortunate tree to test a new spell on.

Last time it was a new spell called Sectumsempra. The tree was slashed so deep it almost fell down and in the end severus had to spell support beams onto it so it didn't fall and kill someone. Or something.

James was taken back when the spell caused such deep cuts. It was definitely impressive, definitely terrifying.

It made him realize that severus wasn't as helpless as he thought. He didn't need protection. From james or anyone and it gave him a new perspective.

All of this was giving him a new perspective.

And honestly he wasn't so mad at it.

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