Chapter 7

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I haven't felt so awful since I finally told Zayn about Jade. I just walked away from them. I didn't even bother mustering up a goodbye. I just simply, left.

I'm living in New York City now with a roomate who's also a rockette. I passed my audition, as you can tell, and having shows every so often. It pays decently and I love it.

No body really knows about my past. There are a few people who claim they've seen me in a magazine before with Zayn, but I just laugh it off. I don't say "That's not me" but I also don't say "Yup, that sure is me!"

I miss them; Jade, Tracy, Zayn, Kris, everyone. I miss them all so much.

I've called Tracy now and then, though she isn't the slightest bit happy with me, and we planned a visit for her and Jade. They'll be coming out in a little over a week. I can't seem to wait a week, yet I've waited almost a whole year to see Jade again. We've skyped so Jade could still see me, but Tracy just plasters on a fake smile.

She told me that Zayn has been seen out with a few girls, but nothing out of the ordinary. She says that none of them seem to effect him the way I did. I just told her it was because the paps captured the picture at the wrong time. I'm sure he's moved on.

"You coming?" Melissa asked. Melissa is my roomate. She's brilliant and extremely funny. Her looks are almost completely different from mine. She has bright blonde hair contrasting to my dark color. She has light, fare skin while I have my tanned, flawless skin. She has bright blue eyes, completely different compared to my dark brown ones. We're polar opposites, yet almost exactly the same.

I shook my head, unaccepting her offer to lunch. "No no. I think I'm just gonna hang around here and pick up a bit."

She smiled sweetly. "Alright then, babe. See you in a bit! I'll tell the girls you miss 'em!"

"Thank you!" I cooed. I gave her a slight wave and began to tidy the living area up.

The apartment isn't huge, but it's decent for New York City. Living where I do can be hectic, but it's an adventure; that's what I wanted. My phone rang from my bedroom and I sprinted to it. Tracy's name showed across the screen and I quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I have someone who wants to talk to you!" There was some muffling then a sweet, angelic voice rang through out the phone speaker.

"Mumma!"

"Hi, sugar!" I couldn't help the smile spread on my lips. "How's my big 2 year old?!"

"Good!"

"You excited to see mumma soon!"

"Mhm!" She giggled. "Bye, Mummy!" There was more muffling before Tracy was back on the line. I want to talk to her about how she feels, but I never found the guts. I mean, I found the courage to do what I did, yet I can't seem to ask my best friend if she absolutely despises me?

"Trace, can we talk about something?"

There was a silence before the quiet sound of a door closing echoed into the phone. "What's up?"

"You know I'm sorry, right?" I picked at my nails, chipping off the black matte paint I had on them. "For leaving you guys?"

She chuckled softly. "I know, Ray. It's just hard to think that my best friend left me and her daughter behind. We just miss you."

"I'll be back eventually, Tracy. I'm not gone for good. I just needed to do this. This was something I needed to experience." I sighed, finally acknowledging the nagging feeling I've had in the back of my head. "But I realized it's never going to be as rewarding as Jade."

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