𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚

Chapter 40

Written 7/19/21

As I got out of the shower I started shivering. Not only because of how freezing cold it was outside, but because I was still shaken up by what happened with Cristiano earlier. It seemed like he had forgiven me, but that didn't mean he wasn't still angry.

I wrapped a towel around myself, opened the bathroom door, and peered outside. Cristiano was laying in bed smoking a cigarette, which didn't surprise me. I walked over to the bed, and stood next to him. He had already showered, and his hair was still all curly and wet. He was only wearing black boxer shorts, and he looked exhausted.

It had been hours since we fought and made up. After he and I had both calmed down, he left, I assumed to take care of the mess I had created, and make sure I wasn't the one blamed for the mistress and her son escaping.

"You look tired." I say, reaching up and running my hand through his damp hair.

"I am tired, I just spent hours covering up the mess that you made." He says passively, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

I took my hand away and put my head down. I felt terrible that he had to clean up my mess.

"I'm sorry." Is all I could say. He stares at me, not angrily though. He looked at me as though I was a puzzle he was trying to figure out. I was probably looking at him the same way.

"Sit down, I want to talk to you about something." Cristiano says, taking another puff of his cigarette. I walk over to the other side of the bed, and sit down.

"I want to know why you did it." Cristiano says sternly.

I sit there looking at him with wide eyes. I couldn't answer that even if I wanted to.

"I didn't do it to hurt you if that's what you're thinking. I let them go because it was what my heart was telling me to do." I say, being extremely careful to not raise my tone. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

"Giada, this is the Mafia. You can't think with your heart, that's what gets you killed." He says, then takes one last drag of his cigarette. He puts it out then flicks it into the trash bin.

I had a burning question in my head. It was right on the tip of my tongue, and I couldn't keep it from slipping out.

"So when you covered up what I did earlier, when you kiss me, when we're in bed together, are you thinking with your heart then?" I ask, my voice wavering a little. He looks at me for a moment. I can't tell if he's confused or if he's desperately trying to come up with an answer.

"You're my only exception, Gia." He says. I feel a blushful smile start to form on my face and I look down at my hands. Cristiano sits up against the headboard, he takes my chin between his thumb and his index finger, tilting my head up to look at him.

"But that doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want, if you pull something like this ever again, I'm not going to let it go. Ever." He says. I could tell by the tone in his voice, that he meant it.

"I'll never betray you again, I promise." I say. Deep down it made me feel uneasy, because I knew it was a lie. I was technically already betraying him by being involved with Livianna and her stupid plot. I felt guilty, lying to Cristiano made me sick to my stomach.

"I'm going to hold you to that." He says, laying down.

I sat there nervously. I didn't believe that he had just let what I did go so easily. A part me suspected that he was still angry, and going to be holding a grudge for a while. But at least I didn't have to worry about the Consigliere's finding out.

I let my towel unravel off of my body, and fall to the floor. I laid down against his chest. He wrapped his arm around me, resting it on my shoulder. I had this question on my mind, burning inside my head. There was already this aggrieved tension in between us, I might as well ask now rather than later.

"What did you mean when you said that you needed me?" I ask, looking up at him. He doesn't look at me, he just sighs and stares forward.

"I already said I didn't know why I needed you. I just do." He says, closing his eyes, telling me that he's going to sleep. But I knew he was just avoiding the question.

"Then why do you think that you need me?" I ask, reaching up and brushing a strand of hair away from his face, which finally gets him to open his eyes and look at me. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

"I can't explain it, Gia. I just...need you here. Doing what I do all day, I need someone. I used to think that I could fill that role with the women at the bordello, or random women who just slept with me because of they thought they could get something out of it, but that never worked. But with you...it just feels right." He says, almost as if it is torture getting the words out.

I bite my lip, in a weak attempt to conceal a smile. He notices, and it clearly annoys him.

"What's so funny?" He asks coldly. I quickly drop my smile, not wanting to make him feel like I was teasing him.

"It-it's not! I swear it's not! I just didn't know that you felt that way. I'm not used to men sharing their emotions." I say, meekly.

"Don't get used to it." Cristiano says, then shuts his eyes again. I decide not to bother him anymore, he was probably exhausted.

I watch him fall asleep. He looked so peaceful. I hated to admit it, but he looked beautiful. He was incredibly good looking, no matter what he was doing. It was strange to think, that this sleeping beauty, had done so many awful things. He had killed people with his bare hands.

He might even do the same to me one day.

sorry for the short chapter and the late update!! 💜💜