Random Ramblings of a Wanna-be Writer

How to Dress to Depress

My heart was beating quickly. My hands were shaking. The words didn't really come out of my mouth. They fell out. "I've been feeling depressed lately". I didn't notice, but at some point between the falling of the words and sitting on the couch between my parents, the lamp was turned on leaving the room in a soft glow. It was better than the unknown darkness that had been there previously. I felt so relieved. Those words had been eating me alive for weeks. They had been on the tip of my tongue for so long. Finally they were out. My parents were so supportive. We talked for a while. I had never felt so loved. Now flash forward to today. We had made an appointment to talk to someone and today was the day. I was so nervous. What would I do if he told me I was depressed? What if he told me I wasn't? What would he ask me? Would he be nice? It was hard to fall asleep last night. My thoughts were racing with "What if"s.  

The appointment was at one. I woke up at 11:00 and got ready. One of my main worries  surprised me. "What do I wear?" How does one dress so that they looked depressed, but not too depressed. Sweatpants would be too much.If I wore a dress he might think that my liife was put together.  I realized how stupid that was when I got there. I talked to him for an hour and came out of it feeling a bit better.         

        I was terrified to reach out for help. What if I was wrong? But now that I have, i've realized that it was one of the best decisions i've made. Talking with someone made me realize how not alone I was and is helping organize my life and my thoughts. I encourage anyone who is feeling depressed, anxious, or anything that you are struggling with to talk to someone. Even if it is just a friend. If you need someone to talk to, my figurative door is always open. I might be much help but I can try and cheer you up with embarassing stories and bad puns. 

You do matter. Your life is important.