Beneath The Skin (Twin Peaks, #1)

38 | Blame

The air inside of the woods was dense. There was a mindfulness to it that I had never experienced before. It set my teeth on edge, my gaze darting to the empty shadows that hung between the trees in the distance. Alec kept a steady pace a few feet in front of me, changing direction a few hundred feet.

"How's it going? You still catching her scent?"

He glanced back at me over his shoulder, nodding. We had not said much to each other after we got into the car together. There were a million things that I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't decide if it mattered anymore. I had failed to protect Mary-Beth, knowing all the minute details wouldn't change what happened or make me feel any less responsible. All that mattered now was finding her, and bringing her home safely.

"This is my fault," Alec said, his voice thick with emotion.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She asked me to help her." His shoulders drew together. "I warned her to stay out of it. That it was dangerous, but I knew she wouldn't listen to me. I should have helped her—protected her."

I watched the way his feet appeared to glide over the ground soundlessly, trying to focus on anything but the dark imagines plaguing my mind. "That's not your responsibility, Alec."

He turned toward me, his face a mask of agony and shame. "You should hate me."

Even if the words came out soft, it's as though he yelled them. I stared at him silently, waiting for the anger to rise. Nothing came. Alec wasn't responsible for his father's sins. A part of me wanted to hurt him simply to return the pain I felt to his parents a hundred-fold, but I knew it wouldn't change a damn thing.

I dropped my head with a heavy sigh. "Just keep walking. I don't have time to waste on hating anyone." 

"You're right," he replied, but I didn't miss the wary tone of his voice.

It was annoying to find myself caring about this kid in any capacity. What did it matter if he had guilt about the predicament that we now found ourselves in? He was Bradford's son. And yet, the urge to soothe him existed in me, which was nauseating.

"You said that Mary-Beth came to you for help, what was she trying to do?" I asked as I tried to repress my sympathy.

"I'm not entirely sure. We argued about Cal--"

"Cal?" I interrupted him.

"Yeah. We argued about the alpha claim but she told me that Cal only did that to protect her."

"That's right," I said with indifference. It was the truth, there was no reason for me to deny it.

Alec paused at my response, one of his hands curling into a tight fist at his side. Then he was walking again, increasing his pace. I wasn't going to argue against the sudden urgency but it made me suspicious that there was something I was still missing and he knew what that was.

"So you argued and then?" I pushed a low hanging branch out of my way.

"Then I warned her that it was dangerous to get involved and that she should let Cal and...my father settle things." He stopped and began to sniff at the air, turning his head one way then the other. "This way."

I followed the change of direction, breathing heavier as my body began to take note of the work I was putting it through. All those years living in a city weren't paying off now. "I doubt she took that well."

He threw a heavy glance over his shoulder at me and said, "She basically told me if I tried to stop her she'd put me in a hospital bed next to Avery."