'10' Dreamy Love Affairs 2bTb (to be Titillated by)"

My Love Affair with *William Shatner*

My Love Affair w/ * William Shatner*

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It was approximately 12:22 am linear Earth time when I fell in love.

After an 8hr day of too much peace and quiet and mind-numbing, tedious checking in and out of books I headed home from my job of 10yrs as school librarian at the Jefferson Highschool to my soul-cozy solitary pad on MacDougall Street in the heart of Greenwich

Village.

Picking out the 20 something bobby pins inherited by grandmother,letting my hair down, and tossing the unnecessary reading glasses aside, I prepared my nightly routine bubble-bath of lavender and sea-salts and poured myself my favorite, a goblet of Chilean Shiraz.

Admiring my newly acquired stereo system that my louse of a recently ex-boyfriend of 3months, a top 40 dj,over the age of 40 left behind in lieu of the $1500 he owed me for his share of the rent, I put on my worn out Bob Dylan vinyl.

Yes.. I kicked him out.. but... I did it with love. With all the love I could muster without it turning into mustard. I did it even though he had an afternoon tryst with a barfly he brought home while I was at work and caught them in the act. Even though he was a self taught expert in the art of cunnilingus

"What the hell" I thought, "This was cause for celebration! I was a born again single girl on the precipice of becoming a woman AND with a state of the art stereo system.

I then poured another goblet.

One for me... and one for Bob.

With half a dozen vanilla-scented candles surrounding my clawfoot bathtub and Nag Champa enveloping the air, I slipped out of my librarian attire and slid down into the inviting, mountainous mounds of hot and steamy Mr.

Bubbles awaiting me like a hungry, loyal lover

. ( A bubblebath tip of truth- Mr.Bubbles not only

relieves the stress and tension of a boring day but he tickles too, unlike

Calgon which only promises to take you away)

Now, in a state of heavenly bliss and gushing with self love, as I said previously, it was

approximately 12:22 am when I fell in love.

Out from under the hot, very hot bath water ..so hot that it makes one chilled with goosebumps...appeared the man of my dreams...

Amidst the bubbly mountains and silky suds, there HE was, in the

flesh, the naked flesh, the one and only..the Captain of my heart,

the charismatic Captain Kirk... of the Starship Enterprise.

I rubbed my glassy blue eyes in disbelief .. ( ever since I was 8yrs old I had an insatiable crush) but no..but yes! .. he was still there!.

He was boldly there where no man.. or woman had gone before.

How was this possible?

This wasn't how I imagined I would meet him for the first time.

Where was I?

In heaven?

On another planet?

Had I gone through a black hole?

Had I been beamed up?

Or was I HIS dream?

Had I sipped on too much Shiraz, inebriated by the sensuous atmosphere I had staged for myself?

What was the truth?

What Quantum reality was I living?

Oh, it didn't matter what the truth was, or where I was OR how he got there.

The only important thing was that Captain Kirk was wet.. and naked.. and in my bathtub!

For the longest while,( ½ hr for me) which prolly was a nano-second in his reality, he didn't say a word.. and that was fine by me.

I was thrilled and tickling pink as he stared and stared, deeply into my eyes.

I was falling in love, my crush was a blue-print manifesting.

I couldn't help but stare into his. So intense... mesmorizing and dreamy,

As he peered and seared deep into my soul, humbly he offered me from out under the Mr. Bubbles, a tambourine.

( Living in NYC I pride myself on being equipped with a *do or die* instinct...so I knew exactly what to do)

Standing up in the tub ,with Mr.Bubbles trickling down my breasts, I instinctively began tapping, patting, and shaking that glorious tambourine into a primal, rhythmic beat as he began to recite my favorite poem of all time,

Mr. Tambourine Man.

"Oh, Mr.Tambourine Man, Oh , Mr. Tambourine Man, Mr. Tambourine Man"

My heart thumping, beating, picking up breathless speed, the water reaching a boiling point, I was in XTC!

Three times he recited "Mr. Tambourine

"Man,play a song for me in the jingle, jangle morning, I'll come following you"

Each time upon hearing his voice recite those poetic words I fell in love

harder and harder,deeper and deeper.

"Again!, again!... .please!..one more time! .. I want to hear you recite it to me one more time" I NEED you to recite it to me just one more time!."

As I pleaded to hear his soothing,sexy voice one more time, in a blink of an eye he became a transformed man, and again, out from under the water amidst the bubbles he then pulled out a police badge and a .38 special.

Oh my God! I was terrified.

What had I done?

Did I say something wrong?

I wasn't a hooker.

I am just a typical librarian!

Was I under arrest?

For what?

For falling in love with William Shatner?!

..oh right..I forgot. He's now a lawyer in Boston.

I didn't know what to believe anymore.

At this very moment I wished I was Murphy Brown but instead I was only

Confused and dazed.

Hot, salty tears came to a boil, but only to trickle turtle slow down my cheeks, down my chest, my breasts... resting on my shriveling nipples before plunging into the bathwater committing suicide , popping the bubbles one by one.

"Wait! Where are you going?", I cried out.

"Will I see you again?" But it was too late.

As the very last Mr. Bubbles popped into oblivion, so too did he.

Another day ,another bath, another dream gone down the drain.

And that.. was my love affair with *William Shatner*.

P.s. I'm never eating "All Bran" again.