Ocean Heart - First Three Chapters

Chapter 3

"He was definitely what you needed," chirped Mum behind me. "I haven't seen you that happy in ages."
I watched the front door close behind them, then threw myself into Mum's cosy cuddliness. One thing Mum was better than anyone at was cuddles – except maybe Jace. Hot tears ran down my face.
"Whatever is the matter?" Mum cooed in my ear. "I don't feel well," I grumbled between sobs.
She put a hand to my head. "You don't have a
temperature. What sort of not well do you feel?"
"I have a funny tummy and I feel dizzy."
Mum was instantly concerned as she guided me up
the stairs to bed. She pulled back the covers and tucked me in. The curtains lifted and waved angrily into the room with the wind. Mum leant over the bed to pull the window shut.
She frowned. "The weather has turned suddenly." She looked at me with the look she gave me when
I'm in trouble and, for a moment, I thought she was accusing me of something, but I had no idea what.
Her expression softened and she wrapped the top sheet around me, kissed my forehead, and gave me a cuddle as she whispered:
"Wrap her in cotton and surround her with love, Send peace for her body on wings of a dove,"
I smiled, comforted by the familiar words she
always says when I'm poorly.
She drew the curtains.
"Give her your blessing on this shadowy night, The brightest of light, reap her pain and take flight." She walked towards the door and winked.
"I'll make you a lemon peel tea. That's always good
to stop dizziness."
I rolled over and stared at the wall as I gripped my
tummy. It felt empty but I wasn't hungry. Shutting my eyes, all I could see was Jace grinning at me, his eyes sparkling, as he spoke about Kiely. I pictured us kissing. Not on the cheek, but on the lips, gentle and warm. My lips would tingle, just as they had when they'd brushed his skin, but it would mean something more, a connection deeper than friendship.

💛

During the week, I saw Jace but he didn't notice me. I stood in the stairwell, on the top floor, watching out the window as he played football with his new friends.
I'd a good idea who Kiely was. A group of pretty girls sat at the benches watching the boys play. Kiely had long, blonde hair and as soon as the bell rang, she'd jump up and run to Jace so they could walk in together.
They weren't ordinary girls. Even though they wore the same uniform as everyone else, they stood out. Kiely's hair was usually pulled back from her face by a colourful band. It caused the layers of her hair cut to flick out and frame her cheekbones. Her heeled shoes made her legs appear longer, and she had a rich, golden tan, the sort earned from a tropical holiday.
Her beauty made me feel plain. I knew I would have to make an extra effort on Sunday if I wanted Jace to see me in the same light as her. To make matters worse, the ache in my belly had not gone; it had been heavy with sadness since saying goodbye to Jace at the weekend. It hung like a weight just above my left hip.
I got my mobile from my knitted satchel and decided to check how his date had gone. He was on the side- lines, squirting juice into his mouth. He put the juice down and began chatting to the girls at the benches. I stabbed the send button - it was better to know than torture myself with soul-destroying scenarios of 'what if'.

Mariah: Hey Jace, how's it going with Kiely?

Seconds later, I saw him reach into his pocket and check his mobile. I waited for him to text back but he just glanced at the screen, shrugged nonchalantly, and shoved it back in his pocket.
He just ignored my text!
I felt as if he had punched me in the stomach. This was ridiculous. I shouldn't be so worked up about something so silly, but as his best friend, I thought responding to me would be high on his to-do list.
What if I'm no longer his best friend?
I thought about how he'd ignored my messages on social media, but then he'd come over and we'd had a great day together. My head spun trying to make sense of his hot and cold behaviour. He was now running back on the field to play with my replacements.
My phone chirped with the familiar sound of a text message. My heart fluttered with joy that I was wrong. I pressed to read it.

Mum: Meet me at the bakery after school. Doing a food shop and will need help carrying it home. X

My smile fell when I saw it wasn't from Jace. I let out a heavy sigh. All I wanted to do was curl up and sulk in bed. But, after school, I took the detour, as requested, to meet Mum. The town centre was full of busy, noisy people that didn't appeal to my cranky mood, and to make matters worse, I could feel a headache brewing from the exhaustion of just getting through the day. Not only did I not feel right, but my shoes were making my feet hot and itchy. Thankfully, they had now moulded to the shape of my foot and weren't rubbing anymore.
I was definitely coming down with something. Maybe Mum could whip up one of her magic concoctions. I saw her on the other side of the road. She'd already locked up the shop and now stood in the centre of her makeshift island of reusable cotton bags waiting for me to join her.
"Are you alright?" Mum asked as I approached. Her warm hand pressed against my forehead as she gauged how worried she should be.
I just grunted. I was feeling progressively worse and my bed couldn't come soon enough.
She carefully selected the lighter bags for me to carry and took the remaining ones. I struggled to keep up as we walked home. I felt defeated and heavy. The fifteen-minute walk felt like forever as I replayed Jace's shrug over and over in my mind.
Arriving home didn't give me the pleasure my pitiful mood had desired. I just wanted the ache in my belly to stop. I dumped the bags in the kitchen and unpacked the items. The task was robbing me of my final reserve of energy.
"What's that?" Mum gasped.
"What's what?" I turned to identify what she was pointing at. Following her finger down towards my leg, I saw a dark red line that ran down my inner thigh like paint. It was bright and vivid and I felt faint just looking at it.
"I don't know," I mumbled weakly.
"Quick!" Mum gasped. "Go to the toilet. I'll fetch you some sanitary pads."
The burning heat that had plagued me all day suddenly rushed to my face. I ran to the toilet and locked the door. Sinking down onto the seat I inspected the damage. Sure enough, my knickers were soaked. 'Just a teaspoon of blood!' That's what my Sexual Education teacher had taught me, but this was more. Way more!
I felt sick and wriggled my knickers off and over my ankles, trying my best not to touch them. Pulling a piece of tissue from the roll, I rubbed at the stripe on my leg but it was dried on. How long had it been there? Had anyone else seen it?
The humiliation eventually got to me and a stray tear found its way down my cheek. I sat there helplessly on the toilet waiting for Mum to return with clean knickers and a sanitary pad. I hadn't pictured my first period being like this, I thought I'd have some warning and be more prepared. For the first time since the move, I was glad that Jace wasn't here.
There was a knock at the door and I wondered if I could leave the toilet to let her in. I didn't want to make more mess and I worried if I got up I could bleed all over the floor. I leaned forward trying to reach the door but it was too far away.
Mum knocked again. "Come on, Mariah, it's only me."
Well, I couldn't sit on the toilet for god knows how many days... I quickly made a dash for the door. As soon as it was unlocked, Mum barged her way in, forcing me backwards. She handed me what I had been waiting for. I quickly put on the clean knickers and stuck the sanitary pad on.
Mum's eyes sparkled proudly: "My little girl is growing up."
"Get out!"
"It's a good thing," Mum nodded enthusiastically. "Now, you go and get changed and I'll cook you something nice for dinner. Then we'll have a proper chat about this and celebrate."
Was she deaf? Celebrate? If looks could kill...
"Get out! Get out! Get out!"
"Alright..." Mum hurriedly exited the small room as
if I'd wounded her. She grabbed my discarded knickers without even flinching at how unpleasant that must have been. She closed the door behind her.
Safely alone with my privacy, I was able to cry properly. I felt bad for yelling at Mum but I just wanted to be alone. Too many things were changing and it was all happening so fast. It made me feel unstable and I didn't think I could handle any more.
Finally, my phone beeped.

Jace: Not great. Best I explain in person.

I wiped the tears from my cheek and smiled. But the smile soon left. I felt awful for feeling pleased things hadn't worked out for Jace. I dropped my head in shame.