𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗘𝗦. ni-ki

s e v e n

"Oh you're back! Have you found what you've been looking for?" Jay asked as he saw the maknae came back

"Not yet," he paused and lowered his voice so the others wouldn't hear him "I met her on my way home"

The older looked at Ni-ki surprised "I even found the hoodie I was looking for" he unknowly smiled

"I don't know if I should thank that girl or not" Riki confusedly looked at the eighteen-years-old boy

"what do you mean hyung?"

"Sometimes, she makes your mood go downhill and sometimes, she makes you happy"

"At this point I'm even more confused than before"

The younger shrugghed as he checked his calendar

"2 weeks"

"I can do it" he whispered to himself

Jia took a deep breathe, fixing her mic as she isolated herself in a corner of the dressing room while calming herself down

You can do it, Song Jia

She completely isolated herself from the rest of the group these past days

Since that day with the japanese boy, she always spaced out and smiled for no reason at all

Or so thought the others

The girl smiled everytime she spaced out, simply because she always reminisced the gentle touch she felt

"ENERGY! You're next!" The maknae snapped back to her senses when the staff announced that they're next on stage

Jia's nervousness grew bigger every second, she couldn't help but feel anxiety shaking her inside

Just the thought of making one mistake in front of milion of fans and idols make her feel like burring herself due to embarassement

But her condition wasn't that concerning as the oldest's who's face is pale and is trembling

"You can do it Song Jia, you can do it" she kept murmuring to reassure herself that eveything will be fine

"Do it for the group" the group arrived on stage and performed without making any mistake

The youngest felt like all the tension she was feeling before disappeard in thin air after seeing one particular face

Days passed, the day grew closer yet Jia forgot everything

She forgot that she decided to confess her feeling to her best friend even if it will ruin their friendship and she forgot about the boy's existence in her heart

Everything, due to stress and busy schedules

And she always forgot to eat, loosing more and more weight

No one knew what happened to her in the past, only her family

Jia developed an eating disorder at a really young age due to the things her family did to her

She went trough therapies but no one could help her with it, no one even clearly figured out what she had

Altrough she hided it from her family after years, the eating disorder just don't want to let her live peacefully

It never left her, it kicked in everytime it was time to eat

And becoming a trainee didn't helped that much since she was costantly stressed and tired

Clearly, she isn't planning to tell it to anyone since it may affect it even more, since they could just stress her more with reminding her to eat

5 years, she's been fighting with this and yet, there was no sight of it disappearing

She got traumatized by the therapies, she didn't wanted to go there anymore so she just acted as if it was cured

Jia didn't wanted to be a burden and made people worry about her health when they should worry about theirs first

She was young, but experienced the worst

If she could know what developed it clearly, she would avoid it and live her life to the fullest

Not worrying that the next day she might not wake up due to the lack of energy and nutriments

but this might turn into something too serious one day, too serious that it might even affect her career

And that's the least thing she wanted

"I-I need to talk to someone" she whispered, only audible for her

"Even if I don't want anyone to know about this, I need to let my problems out and find some relief in my dark world"

She glanced at her wrist, seeing the scar on it which took back her nightmares

The dark past of Song Jia, was yet to unfold and know all the cruel things she did to herself

Which someone at her age shouldn't do or know

The scars her past left her, still needed to be healed

She hopes no one will ever go trough everything she's gone trough, alone

Without a shoulder to lean on, she was left alone during her childhood to deal with this

The things her family did to her, were meant to be unknow, and never bringed up again

Jia couldn't help but still love her family as they were still.... her family after all

They still gave her a bed to sleep in and a roof on her head, most of the times

but never in her life she wants to see her parents ever again